My Cries My Tears

The Price Of Fitting In

We always say,
To fit in,we have to be like the rest,
Standing out and bending lines,
Is viewed as rebellion,
What we stand for,
Is often linked to what we choose to follow.

Monotonous,I claim,
Is how my life has been,
Confined in my own shell,
Only pursuing what my heart tells me,
Satisfying what the body wants,
Craving for what my soul truly desires,
Without any haste or judgement.

Quite reserved I was,
Had a friend or two,
Pursuing a passion,which was often seen as an ambition,
Locked into my own world,
It was sweet,to say the least.

But......
In a room with people,
I was seen,yet I felt invisible,
Any recognition I got,short-lived,
Was a tool to voice my desperation,
Of being heard.

Crushes,rainbows,daydreams,fantasies,
Were all a figment of my imagination,
A cure for my ever thriving loneliness,
Which forced I,to pursue love that wasn't even real.

love at the time,
was an obsession created to achieve satisfaction,
it was purely transactional,with no consequence whatsoever.

Right now,
I no longer have the feel of fitting in,
I'd rather stay in the shell that I made,
With all left in me,
I'll use it to declare fate,
On any who tries,to tie me in traps,
Meant for their benefit,
To tear who I really am,
And rebuild someone I am not.