Saudade

Chapter 17 There Are Things Some Can't Have Ophelia

"Why don't you just find him," Draco suggested, sounding irritated by his sister, who kept peeking out the compartment door, hoping to catch a glimpse of Harry.

"Don't be ridiculous," Ophelia hissed, sitting back. "I'll embarrass myself."

"You're already doing that just fine already," Pansy scoffed, crossing her arms.

"Watch it, Parkinson," Draco warned before Ophelia could.

"I don't want to hear Potter's name all the way to Hogwarts," Pansy huffed.

"Believe me neither do I," Draco muttered loud enough for Ophelia to hear.

Blaise rolled his eyes and turned to Ophelia. "What are you planning to do?" he asked her.

"What do you mean?" she said, slight panic in her voice.

"You know what I mean," Blaise said, giving her a knowing look.

Ophelia sighed. "I don't know," she said frustrated. "I still haven't decided."

"So you actually fancy Potter, then?" Theodore asked. There was a hint of jealousy in his tone but Ophelia dismissed it.

"What?" Ophelia choked. "No! No, we just hang out. Liking him doesn't really come into play."

"Okay," Theodore said, eyeing her.

There was a silence.

"I mean, is he my friend? Yes..." Ophelia said, looking out the window. "Do I find him attractive? Sure... And not just in the physical sense. But he is... very good-looking. He's got lovely shoulders and amazing eyes... lovely lips... wild but good hair..." she trailed off but brought herself back to reality. "Anyways, I'm far too busy to be bothered with anything like that so..."

"Right... It definitely sounds like you don't like him," Theodore said with an unreadable expression.

"She's too embarrassed to say it," Blaise scoffed amused.

Ophelia glared at him.

"She should be," Pansy scolded. "It's Potter, of all people."

Ophelia shot a glare at Pansy and looked out the window. As the train began moving, Ophelia felt tense and nervous. She couldn't focus on anything. Her heart was racing out of her chest. She couldn't bear the thought of seeing Harry again. Of course, he was expecting her to answer his confession and it was true; Ophelia still hadn't decided what to do. It made her want to throw up.

Ophelia made no attempts to engage in the conversation throughout the journey to Hogwarts. She felt a mix of relief and worry as they exited the train when she couldn't spot Harry through the crowd of students. Her mind racing with fear that maybe Voldemort snatched him before he could get on the train. But that can't be. There would be news of his disappearance. And no one seems to be panicking.

You're overreacting, Ophelia told herself.

All throughout the night Ophelia tossed and turned, her mind wide awake with horrible thoughts, and by the morning dark circles had appeared under her eyes.

"You didn't sleep at all?" Blaise said, glancing cautiously at Ophelia.

"Not one bit," she said wearily, watching the entrance of the Great Hall.

A spark of jet-black hair emerged from the entrance. Relief washed over Ophelia and cursed herself for overreacting so much. She settled down and was about to eat when she remembered Harry was expecting her to give him an answer and suddenly she wasn't hungry anymore. In fact, she felt sick to her stomach.