A Budding Rose

Run

POV Kanaki

I wasn't tired. I haven't been in days.

Touka fell asleep in my arms with her nose where my neck meets my shoulder.

Ichica was fast asleep in her room. I can't believe she's three already. They weren't lying when they said the time goes fast. She already fancies herself independent.

She's adamant she can read any book in the house. She'll take one of my books and open it and page through. I always ask how it is and she makes up her own story based on the cover. We go along with it.

When we get her books though she doesn't hesitate to ask what a character is.

She's just so... herself.

She's not afraid to say what she wants.

She likes singing and dancing, but oh it has to be a performance. We have to sit on the floor and she stands on her own stage (the couch).

I can't get her dressed for her concert though, no. It has to be Touka. She's the only one that can put her dress on right.

I didn't know you could put it on wrong, but I'll do whatever she wants.

She often gets to excited while she's dancing and falls down. But she doesn't even think to be embarrassed. She just laughs in this magical way.

I can't describe it, but when she does it... I feel at home.

I feel creepy just staring at Touka while she sleeps. I don't know how she manages to get more beautiful every day.

I wish I could could see her beautiful sapphire eyes.

She was so warm and my heart was so full, but sleep wouldn't come. I couldn't even close my eyes.

I was getting itchy with the need to move.

I gently took my arm out from under her and guided her head from me to the pillow.

She was still fast asleep. Thank God.

I walked into the living room.

I feel the sudden urge to run. To just go out the door and run and run and run until there is nothing left.

But with the way the door squeaks there's no way it wouldn't wake anyone. Then they would ask where I was going. And I don't have an answer.

My entire body was starting to tremble.

I needed to move.

My head was filled with some song I heard once, or maybe a book, or something I have forgotten. Maybe all at once.

I walk to the couch and sit down.

Almost immediate my leg bounces up and down on it's own accord.

I can't leave. I can't make to much noise.

But oh gosh I can't fucking sit still.

And what was the song I heard? I think it would be better another way. Or the last book I read. It was so bad. There was so much they could have done differently. Maybe if they move the inciting incident further in so we knew the charachers better that would be better. Oh and all the scenes were recycled. How hard is it to write something new.

That's so odd.

That's so odd.

That's so odd.

I put my head in my hands.

Odd. odd. Odd.

I just wanted it to stop.

Stop

Stop