Never Again

Chapter Eight - Is This The End?

I didn't see him for a few days. Then, one morning, while I was walking through town, I randomly met him at a store in my neighbourhood. He was standing by his car, drinking some coffee out of a paper cup. Approaching him, he gave me his cup without saying anything.

"Where are you going?"

I lit up a cigarette and took a few sips from his coffee, handing it back to him after.

"I have to grab a few things."

"I'll drive you."

"No, it's okay. I can walk."

"But I want to."

I got into the car while he threw his empty cup into the trash bin outside the shop. He drove for a while, then stopped at a red light. People crossed the road and a blonde head caught my attention. Anna was looking at us while walking across the road. She probably didn't know he was still meeting me. He didn't see her, so I pointed her to him and the color drained from his face.

"Don't worry. I'll deal with it."

After he dropped me of, I took my phone out of my pocket. I searched for her name in my contacts and I hesitated as my finger hovered over it. I eventually dialed her number. 

"Yes?"

"Anna, I'm Angie. I know you've seen us. I just want to say it isn't anything you have to worry about. I just met him randomly and asked him to drop me off somewhere. It's my fault, I'm sorry."

She seemed relieved. "Oh, it's okay. Thank you for letting me know."

I was sure I had convinced her. I was glad she wouldn't have to suffer because of me.

I minded my own business, grabbing the few things I had to shop for. I then met Sky and Alma. They had been my friends since highschool. They were really bold and I admired them for that. Sky's personality was a little bit more calmer, but Alma was a storm walking on two long gorgeous legs.

My phone vibrated in my hand. I answered Anna without thinking about it.

"You listen to me, you bitch." Her voice filled my ears. She had a very unpleasing high-pitched voice. "If you ever meet him again, I'll beat you up so bad that..."

I didn't need to ask where she suddenly got her courage from. I could hear other female voices encouraging her and I was sure I had been put on speaker.

"That... I'll beat you up so bad that you'll be afraid to even cross paths with me again."

I gigled, which seemed to annoy her even more.

"I am serious, you wicked bitch."

Alma ripped my phone out of my hand before I could react. After she spoke her mind, which meant awfully insulting and threatening Anna, she gave me my phone back.

"What had you going like that, Alma?" I was surprised by her.

"Oh, I can't stand her. What did you do, anyway?"

I narrated the whole thing to them, including the part where I took the blame. Alma scoffed.

"She's so stupid."

I realized I was growing angry. From then on, I made it my personal little goal to annoy Anna whenever given the chance. In a twisted way, I wanted to show her who would win in the end, because I was sure I would. I promised I would never again stay away from Ray, because this time, I really wanted to make her suffer.

I called Ray right after Sky and Alma left. I narrated everything to him.

"If you don't calm her down, I will. And none of us wants that."

He insisted on meeting me. He kept saying how sorry he was for what Anna did. That only fueled my already burning fire. She had to pay. She couldn't just mess with me. She couldn't just do such a thing as threatening me. I would teach her a lesson.

Another time, my internal fire was again fueled by one of our mutual friends, to whom Anna had described in great detail the ways she could harm me in. 

I spent more and more time with Ray. I was with him all day long, sometimes even spending the night with him. I made it my target to make him crazy about me. When that eventually happened, I felt I wasn't that into him anymore. I was growing bored. Not just like before, when I had been tired of all the games. This time it was real.

I was trying to keep my act going. It wasn't just about Ray anymore, it was more about hurting Anna.

One day, he blurted out to me, out of the blue, that he would finally break up with her. That's what I wanted, right? Then, why did it make me feel so awful?

I thought about it for a few minutes. I could let him go, but I was sure she couldn't. Was I really that bad? After all, she had done everything out of jealousy and I couldn't blame her. She had been caught in the crossfire, she was just a victim. I was the one to blame, not her. Ray was to blame. But not Anna, she didn't do anything wrong.

I turned to him and took his hand.

"You can't."

"What do you mean?"

"You can't. Remember when you told me I can take the loss, but she can't? That's still true. She doesn't deserve this."

"No, you don't understand. I want to break up with her. I lacked the courage until now, but I will do it."

"Don't." I smiled at him and gave his hand a slight squeeze.

I got out of the car and walked home, without him trying to stop me. It was raining and it matched my mood. I was set on not seeing him anymore, but that didn't mean I wasn't hurt.

He had come into my life when I needed him the most. All the bad moments aside, he had completely transformed me. Unbelievably. I was this new whole person, all because of him. I wanted to finally be free, to be happy, not bitter and sad anymore.

That was the end, wasn't it? Never again, right?

I did the thing which seemed the most suitable at the time. I left town and stayed away for a year. He would text me now and then to check on me, but at one point I stopped replying. I couldn't just let him back into my life after all the effort I had put into getting away. Him being my first love didn't mean he would also be the last.