Admiral ✓ (Completed, Review In Progress)

Chapter 43

I stand in front of Steve
"Do you want to talk about it perhaps ?" he said , his eyes looked swollen too.
"Are you still talking to Gab?" I ask him.
"Gab ? As in Gabriel ?"
I nodd.
"It's been a while , hasn't it ?" He looked down and smiled. "Why suddenly tho ?, do you like him or something ?" .
"No it's not that , read this" I hand him the paper.
"Okay sure , mind if I come in ?"
"No actually ,I want to be left alone"
"You sure ?"
I nodd.
"No I'm coming in anyways" he walked past me and sat on the couch.
"Hey" I yell and follow him.
"I'm sorry I won't leave you alone when you're sad. I want you to know I'm here with you okay ?" He said and sat on the couch. I sat beside him.
"Steve dear , would you like to have something to eat ?" Mom asked from the kitchen.
"No thanks Mrs. Lopez , I'm good" he smiled.
"How are you putting up with this whole thing ?" He looked around avoiding eye contact.
"I don't know its so unexpected" I whisper. Hurt was felt in my throat.
"It was unexpected for me too" he sounded hurt , Really hurt. "I've only known Elissa for a while , at this point I really regret telling you to stay away from her when she needed us the most"
"True , I regret avoiding her too , I wonder if Nonnie , Varonica and Justin know about this"

Steve nodded. "I'll miss her so much"
"Me too"
Steve's eyes were filled with tears he looked up holding them back. It's true Elissa was his best friend too. Steve is the kind of person who'd even cry over his enemies death , his heart is gold. I get a tissue from the table in front of us and I tilt his chin and slowly dab the tears he was holding back. I sat on the floor and he slipped down and sat beside me.
"At least we have each other Leah" he said and held my hand

"Stupid Nonnie yelled at me again"

"She yells at everyone , Leah nothings new"

"She says my keyboard skills doesn't have the flow , why did professor leave her in charge I don't understand , she knows nothing about playing keyboard and she complains about everything ugh"

"Calm down , let's go Grab some bubble tea nearby , don't stress out over her"

"At least we have each other , Elissa"

"At least we have each other"

*holds hands and look at eachother*

Memory hit me again. I see Steve's hand on mine ,I knit my fingers to his and I look up resting my head on the couch. Unable to cry , unable to breathe unable to feel free.
"I wonder how much worse the pain is for you" Steve said. "Thinking about it worries me a lot"
I look at him with dull eyes. "I'll be okay I guess" I said , as tears automatically roll down my eyes.
"Leah please don't cry" he said , his palm wrapped around my head and slowly made my head rest on his shoulder. I turned my head my forehead resting on his shoulder and I started to cry even more as he stroked my hair. It was a little comforting but not helping me at all. It pains a lot. I kept crying and crying and didnt know time passing by. Steve also kept quiet telling me words like it's going to be okay , I'll pray for you and time heals , I did feel lighter , I know he feels at least 1/2 the pain I'm feeling right now.

I fell asleep on his shoulder.

When I woke up , I was sleeping on the couch , and Steve was gone. Mom was making dinner. He was right , his company felt better than being alone.

💖💖💖

Next day after school , I don't know if that was a stupid move , I'm in front of Gabriel's house. I rang the bell and nervously play with my fingers to calm down my nervousness , Steve kind of helped me find out the house's location. Gab , answers the door.
"Elizabeth , what a surprise , come in .." He said smiling at me. Yea he is a sunshine I have to admit , but not as bright as Steve.
"I have brought a news and this...." I hand him over the letter.
"Is it a good news or a bad one"
"It's a bad one , for sure"
"No wonder why you're eyes are swollen so much"
"Elissa is dead"
"When- when was this .." There was guilt in his eyes.
"yesterday , you had to know because of this letter, I know it's not her fault or your fault in this , but ... " I looked down deprived of words.

I was meddling with my fingers while Gabriel was reading the letter , tears filled his eyes. he was holding it. "I-" he curled his fingers on his lips and looked up at the ceiling. He couldn't say anything he was shocked. "You know , I used to kind of like her ?" He said as tears rolled down his eyes. "She was the first girl to ever ask me out" he managed to smile and wiped his tears before they fell. "I wish I had the guts to tell her back then"
"Then why didn't you do it ?"
"You might think I'm stupid but yes , I really liked Alicia back then. She was this gorgeous person in my eyes , I was being delusional. I was thinking maybe I'd have a shot with her someday , or what if I find someone better than Elissa ?. I wanted time because dating is no joke for me. I'm not looking for a girlfriend Leah , I'm looking for a future wife and I know this is not the age , that's why I didnt approach Alicia. I really didn't mean to hurt her" he said looking at the floor.
I cannot be angry on Gabriel either , I sat beside him and patted his back. I know this news would've hurt him knowing the fact that Elissa and Gabriel used to be best friends , not just that , they liked each other.
"Will you come to the funeral ?" I ask him.
He looked away holding tears. " I can't believe that she felt so left out and I never knew about this. I was angry on her for too long , because she didnt try to contact me again. Trust me I was planning to contact her for a long time now , but it's too late. I'll miss her so much, and I've missed her a lot"
"I don't think she would've chosen to die if you were there for her Gabriel, if someone was there for her. I failed" I clenched my fist , because my hands started to shake. And I took a deep breath holding my tears.
"We failed Leah , I failed to tell her exactly how I felt about her... And help her out when she was lonely."

I nodded "I gotta go" I said as I rushed out of the house. The tears I was holding behind finally came rolling down. I knelt down on the deserted sidewalk and I started to cry.

Love has a cost. Love brings happiness , love brings joy but love also brings this excruciating pain that makes me want to rip my heart off the body , I feel more pain with my heart than how it would be if I actually rip it out.