A Rabbit Among Wolves

Chapter 9

"Okay. Everyone who can pilot a giant mega death robot, raise your hands."

Surprisingly enough, no hands were raised. Jaune nodded, rubbing his chin with one hand.

"I see. I see. Alright. Anyone who has any experience in a vehicle even slightly resembling a giant mega death robot, raise their hands." No one. Hm. Interesting. It was almost like piloting Atlas battle robots wasn't a widely accessible skillset. Who could have guessed? "Awesome. So, we have the most expensive, illegal and criminally hot paperweight on the planet. That's nice. Wow, this gift is really well thought out..."

"Uh. Well that's one way of putting it, boss," Perry said.

"I've driven a tank," Yuma offered. "That might be similar."

"I thought we agreed you'd never drive a tank again," Trifa said.

"Did we agree that, or was it just you?"

"It was we. When I had the gun to your head and was thinking of pulling the trigger."

"I think you should be the one to pilot it, Jaune." Lisa interrupted with a coy smile visible under her mask. "The bigger you seem, the greater the message your name will send. If you have someone else do it for you, you take away from the mystery. The majesty."

Lisa only cared about the story. Sighing, he ran a hand down his face and looked back up at the thing. It was huge. Beyond that, it was sleek and shiny with a White Fang logo stamped onto both of its outer limbs... well, where the thigh would be on a human. It was bipedal, but that only made it look harder to pilot. He'd played racing simulators before in the arcade but his dad didn't have a car to ever practice on. Ansel wasn't big enough to need them.

The logical thing to do was let someone else use it. Whomever did was going to be in the thick of danger and a big target, so he didn't want himself anywhere near that. If there was honestly a way to get rid of it, he would. The Albain brothers would be upset, Sienna would be angry and I'd probably end up dead and replaced.

So, who was the be the pilot? Perry?

The Paladin zoomed around a corner at high speed and clipped a nearby building, shattering homes and bringing the structure down. "Sorry!" Perry yelled. "This thing doesn't come with any brakes. Whoooo! This is so cool! Hey, do you think I can pull a back flip off that ramp? Time to find out!"

Jaune snapped back out his daydream with a shudder. Not Perry. There was a good reason he was never allowed behind the wheel of a getaway vehicle again. Giving him the multi-million lien robot was definitely out the question. Deery? She wasn't insane or anything, just a little clumsy...

"What does this button do?" A missile flew out the Paladin and impacted a news bullhead in the sky, sending it crashing down in a burning wreck onto an orphanage, which quickly caught fire. "Oops! I didn't mean that. Ah. What do I do?" All around her, buildings went up in flames, while an embarrassed killer robot stood in the middle, scratching its mechanical head.

No. Not Deery.

Yuma?

"Oops. I accidentally stepped on some humans. Whoops I did it again." The Paladin brought a hand up to its cockpit in a vague display of shy guilt. "I'm so clumsy, tee-hee. Oh well, I guess I'll need to step on some more humans too."

No. Absolutely not.

Bane was too big. Tukson was too. Trifa?

The final police car burst into flames as the Paladin raked its position. The fires burned through the night. "Enemies neutralised," Trifa said, satisfied. "Finally, with this the White Fang can take over this city!"