Lightning and Thunder

5

𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑

EPISODE 5 (NISHA'S POV)

I got to the beach a long time ago. I stared at the water which was illuminated by the silver moonlight.

The echoing voice of condemnation filled my head. The rope was there. The huge boulder was ready. But I just couldn't move. I couldn't feel anything. I was numb.

"εɳ∂ เƭ ɳσω! ყσµ'ɾε ωσɾƭɦℓεรร! ყσµ'ɾε ɳσƭɦเɳɠ ɓµƭ α ƭɦเεƒ, α ℓเαɾ, ɳσ σɳε ℓσѵεร ყσµ. ɳσƭ εѵεɳ ɠσ∂. ωɦყ εℓรε ωσµℓ∂ ɦε αℓℓσω รเcҡɳεรร เɳƭσ ყσµɾ ɓσ∂ყ? เƭ เร ɓεƭƭεɾ ƒσɾ ყσµ ƭσ ∂เε!"

Hot tears trailed my cheeks and I broke from the haze with my willpower, ready to get this over with. I took the rope, tied one end securely to the boulder and the other around my neck.

Crying bitterly and grunting at intervals, I dragged myself to the edge of the ebbing water.
Flashes of what I had read after Judith left came back, tearing my heart to shreds.

I was feeling down this evening so when Judith asked me to follow her for a vigil, I turned down her offer with the excuse that I was not feeling too good.
But then, after a dinner of eggs and fruit smoothie, I got bored and decided to organize our room. That was when I found it.

"I'm sorry..." I whispered to the night.

"STOP!" I heard the familiar voice of my best friend screeching, jolting me.

My pulse spiked as I whirled about and saw her racing towards me. Her eyes widened and she halted when she took in the scene and saw what I intended to do to myself.

Austin didn't stop running. He came to me, yanked the rope off my hands and buried his face in my hair as he hugged me. He didn't say anything but I could feel the tremors.

I slowly pulled away from him. He looked confused and scared.

"Babe..." he whispered hoarsely.

"Don't babe me. Why didn't you leave me alone? Sending that text was a stupid mistake," I spat.

He cradled my face and I only felt more dirty. I couldn't look into his eyes.
"Don't do this to yourself, Nisha. Don't do this to me," he said.

Judith came slowly, her face drenched with tears. I watched her as my stomach twisted.

"Nisha, why?" she asked, her eyes pained. "You can tell me anything, you know that, right?"

"How could I? You're keeping something from me, Judith," I said, sobbing, "Stop the act."

"So are you," Judith retorted, her hands akimbo. "Why are you this way, Nisha? I told you we would fight this together."

She wanted to hold my hands. I pushed her, tears of guilt blurring my vision.

"I know, Judith. I read your old diary tonight. I know you love Austin."

Judith went as white as sheet.

"What?" Austin gasped, his eyes darting wildly between us.

My heart ached because this revelation meant I would finally lose him but I couldn't care less. All I wanted was to be free from the burden of my secret. It was time to speak up. Once they abandoned me in disgust, I would succumb to the call of death.

"Look, Austin, I'm sorry I was manipulative. I distracted you from her. I could tell that from the beginning you were attracted to her. I knew I was doomed not to have a stable happy home. Crio had made that threat several times—"

Austin's eyes narrowed. "Who is this Crio?"

I sighed and hesitated. Would they believe me? Would they understand?

"Crio is... Um, well, he is my spirit husband," I muttered.

If Judith was white before, now she was colourless. I could almost hear her thoughts: 'Do I know this girl I claimed was my best friend at all?'

I wouldn't blame her though.
I was so good at hiding secrets. Years of childhood abuse taught me that skill.
Anytime I would wake from nightmares and Judith tried to ask what it was about, I would either tell her that I didn't remember or that I was reliving the news of my mom's death.

The sound of the crashing waves filled the terse silence.

"Most of what you know about me is a lie. I'm not the perfect Christian girl you think I am. So you see why I just want to die..." I said, backing away from them as I neared the water again.

"Yҽʂ, ƚԋαƚ'ʂ ɯԋαƚ ყσυ'ʅʅ υʂҽ ƚσ ɾҽԃҽҽɱ ყσυɾʂҽʅϝ."

Oh no! Crio's voice was back. I panicked.

Judith finally found her voice and yelled, "Nisha, now is not a time for us to open wounds. I know you are under a lot of pressure. You're scared. But let us help you. As long as there is life, there is hope. Remember, Jesus died so you wouldn't have to."

I felt anger that was not mine bubble up within me like a volcano. Suddenly, like a switch, I was thrown to the backseat and I knew then that Crio had gone overboard, taking control of my body.

"∂σɳ'ƭ ɱσѵε αɳყ cℓσรεɾ," I heard his inhumane growl. "เƒ ყσµ ɱσѵε, เ ωเℓℓ ҡเℓℓ ɦεɾ ɱყรεℓƒ."

The exchange was blurred and I was the passive distant observer, but I knew what was happening. Austin and Judith had come face to face with my inner demon and they had to battle him with the Word.

Crio was a very crafty smooth talker. I knew if they would conquer him, I had to resist him deliberately from within

So, as I curled up in my mind, I did the only thing that seemed reasonable in that moment. I cried desperately to God.
"I'm sorry, Lord. Please help me. I don't want to be trapped anymore..."

That was it. The key to victory.

I felt my body go limp and crumple on the sand. Everything turned grey then black.

When my eyes fluttered open briefly, I noticed that I was lying in the backseat of Austin's speeding car, my head on Judith's lap. Judith was stroking my hair, compassion brimming in her eyes as she gazed at me. 

Then she whispered a prayer that I didn't understand. "Lord, at the end of the day, I am glad I didn't compromise."

~~~

Author's note: Chai! How on earth did things escalate so much?
One thing, I'm sure of, keeping deadly secrets doesn't help in any way. If you are silently dying, try to find someone you can confide in, someone whom God can use as an instrument to help you.
Do you think the battle is over? What will happen next? Stay tuned for more episodes of Lightning and Thunder, and let's see where God
I'd like to know if this story has blessed you so far in the comments section. Feel free to share this story too. Shalom.