So. Not. Real. -Lando Norris

15.Clingy& cocky. Match made in heaven...

It has been almost two weeks since I last saw Lando. 

Painfully long and sad two weeks filled with overworking myself and binging on any rom com I could find. Besides Danny I have not opened my messages from anyone connected to Mclaren the whole time. I did saw though that Lando occasionally texted me thorought the day letting me know what's going on in the MCT or how the race went. 

Mexico was a pain to watch and as much as I promised to myself and Maria that I won't watch it, I just had to. I would feel like the worst friend if I didn't watch how my best friend did, even though seeing him almost always near Norris made it really hard to not just turn it all off. 

Danny managed to bag some good points for the team ending P5, while Lando barely managed to finish his race after landing in the gravel two times. Still everyone was impressed at how he crossed the line just outside of the points. 

Since I didn't want to cause any drama or suspicion on the internet or in our friend group I just informed everyone that I had to miss out on Mexico because of both my sickness and a lot of modeling projects I bagged. Which wasn't entirely a lie, I just had to beg Mari to find me more and more, no matter how small the brand was.

Both me and Lando left comments under each other posts, mostly drawing the line on some sweet emojis or a compliment, but that was enough for the whole media to already make us out as one of the cutest couples in the paddock. Daniel did find some of my small movements quite a bit weird, which resulted in a painfully long phone call where I had to pretend like my love life was looking like the ones in the books. 

I already prepared myself for the eternity in hell that I'll have to face for all of my lies. 

I tried overworking myself to the point I had a few nosebleeds from exhaustion just to not have even a second to think about Silverstone and the curly haired boy, but each night the second I laid down in my bed, that was all my head wanted to navigate to. 

I felt like I was going insane, for the first time in my life I could not just forget someone, no matter how much I tried. And I'm aware that I told him to just give ourselves time, making it seem like I want to continue all of this, but the truth is I was really hoping to just walk around sad for maybe two or three days and then go on about my life like always. Maybe call off the deal pretending I actually met someone or I don't know, decided to change my internet persona and scare them that it wouldn't be beneficial for them. 

Once the realization hit I took my one and only day off, just to spend it in my bathtub finishing bottles of wine like they're water. This time I could not just move on. I couldn't not see Norris in everything around me. His clothes that are laying nicely folded on my couch since I couldn't bring myself to text him and ask what address should I send them to, the Mclaren merch that was sent to me, London eye that I had to drive through each time I was going to the studio. 

Everything screamed Lando Norris. 

And I did feel a bit embarrassed about it. We do not have the normal ''love'' story, that everyone would understand and get my feelings. We couldn't even stand each other 10 weeks ago and to be fair we don't know each other for much longer. I don't think we have even been this close for  two months yet, but still the idea of what I feel like it was turning to was haunting me painfully. 

As much as I didn't want to admit it, I did start to fall for him. For the potential I saw in him, for the comfort I started feeling around him and the little gestures I secretly adored. And I didn't need many of them, it's not like I started appreciating and longing for them after a long time. The surprisingly warm feeling it was awakening in me showed up as quickly as our deal was signed.