𝑽𝒊𝒐𝒍𝒆𝒕 𝑯𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔

𝑻𝒂𝒑𝒆 𝑶𝒏𝒆

START RECORDING ON 24/1/19

I was born May 12, 2000.

My parents tried many times to have children. There was something wrong with my dad's sperm, I think, and they had at least five miscarriages before having me. That's why they're kinda old now. I came out too early, though, my birthday is supposed to be in July. I almost died and stuff, but that's life, isn't it?

I was born wrong. Do you know what intersex is? That's what I am. I have XY and some testosterone, but I have girl bones. And a girl private part. I also have balls in my stomach. The doctor offered my father that bottom surgery that some transgender have. He said no, it was dangerous. I make estrogen and testosterone naturally, it's very weird. I could also get pregnant if I really wanted to, but ew.

My parents were good parents for four years. My mom was very sick and depressed, I don't think I saw her very often. My dad was the same way, so my uncle raised me mostly. He only had Sarah at that time. She treated me like a doll and put girl things on me, she was only four around then. My father did his best. He spoke to me in Korean and that's the only language I knew for a while.

Then, something happened. I don't know what. I think my dad got really sick one day and had to leave with my uncle. My mom tried with me, but she wasn't there, if you know what I mean. She used to yell at me a lot. Once, I was being super fussy and she was really sad and tired. She hit me on my back. I don't remember anything after that, but she made a few phonecalls.

She left when she thought I was sleeping. I woke up early in a dark house without my mom there. I wobbled around and tried to look for her. The dark was all around me. There was nobody around. I buried himself in my blankets and cried. That's my earliest memory.

I woke up on an airplane with a man I didn't know. I was scared, but he said he was my uncle and that I was going to stay with him in France. I learned French very quickly in school and at home. He was a great man, he really was. He read with me, sang with me, he even taught me piano. But he drank, a lot.

He did stuff when he was drunk. I don't want to get into it.

Then, he got sick, and left me with my aunts on the other side of France. I was used to that by now. I was raised mostly by a woman named Martha. She was very ill, she was deaf and I learned sign language just for her. She taught me everything I know now, she was great. I love her so much.

She was sick, though, and she died when I was eight. I became anorexic, I couldn't eat a meal for a year. My aunt, Annie, raised me until then. She was strict but kind. She kept me on top of my studies, she taught me many languages, and she helped me get better at piano.

When I was eleven, before I started middle school, my uncle back in Vagu finally found out where I was and wanted me back. She gave me the choice. I wanted to go back, just for a while.

I didn't expect my parents to be there, really I didn't. First, my uncle got me used to the climate again and everything, then he said that he had a surprise for me. My father walked through the door of my bedroom. I was hugging him before I even knew it. My dad's a giant. He picked me up and held me for a while. Mother came soon after. We were a family again.

My uncle had five children, all adopted. Sarah already knew me, I was really happy to see her again. Haruki was from Japan. He wasn't there when I came, he went back to live with his mother. My uncle doesn't talk about him often. I was kinda scared of Susu because she has resting bitch face, but trust me, she's super nice. My favorite is Valentino. He's probably my best friend in the house.

Then there's Hunter.

I hate Hunter. I don't hate anyone but I really hate him. He was mean to me, and everyone else, but he really had it out for me and Valentino. We're both gay, and he doesn't like that. He used to hit us, take our stuff, he was an asshole. Once, he told my mom that cooking was a women's job and she threw cheese at him.

He took things too far one day. I don't know what started with him and Susu, but they both yelling at each other and he hit her across the face. I almost felt bad when his balls got kicked but he had that shit coming for a while, no? My uncle kicked him out after that. Should've been sooner, but at least it was done.

Soon after, the girls both left for college. That left me and Valentino at home. It was a peaceful time. But then the war started and, well, that's a story for another day, isn't it?

END RECORDING 24/1/19: (ONE HOUR AND TWO MINUTES)