𝑽𝒊𝒐𝒍𝒆𝒕 𝑯𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔

𝑭𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕 𝑴𝒆𝒆𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈

François slumped into the ground. He hated this body. He hated this mind. Everything was fixed, why was he still like this? He had the medicines and surgeries, why was he still broken?

He traced the scars on his chest. This is what he wanted. He got what he wanted. He should be happy. This shouldn't be happening.

This is why nobody will never love you.

You did this for attention.

You'll never be a real man.

He thought back to his parents. Is that why his father left? Because he knew that François would do something like this? Is that why his mother threw him out? Is that why she cursed at him? Yelled at him? Starved him?

"[REDACTED], YOU ACT LIKE A MAN! WHY CAN'T YOU BE MY LITTLE GIRL?"

[REDACTED], YOU WON'T EAT UNTIL YOU WEAR THAT DRESS!"

Y'know what the worst part is about it? Sometimes, he catches himself acting like her. When he's mad, he sounds like her when she would yell at him. He says disgusting things like her, he screams at the top of his lungs like her, he throws things like her. He even looks like her with a bright red freckled face and veins popping out his forehead. Thank God he didn't get her temper, he's rarely ever angry.

Wait, that one thing that makes him great. His therapist said to list five things that he likes about himself. That's one.

Two. He really likes his hair. It's red, short, and super curly. He remembers his first haircut. His mother never allowed him to cut his once long hair. The day he moved in with his grandparents, his grandfather cut his hair. It felt so wonderful to cut that deadweight off. He made himself laugh when he remembered that his grandpa gave him a mohawk for five minutes.

Three. He likes his surgery scars. He lifted up his shirt to see them. They looked so cool. He didn't need that stupid binder anymore. He touched each one and giggled.

Four. He liked his dick. He laughed at that. What? He had to pay for that! It was big too! Who won't love that?

Five. He loved his eyes. They weren't his mother's or father's, they were thanks to his grandmother. They look just like hers. Her eyes are so sweet and gentle, what a gift to have such a wonderful thing.

He felt much better, and good timing, too. His brother texted him that it was time for dinner. He loves his brother, and he definitely loves the result of his birth. His mother said that he was such a bad daughter that she was having another girl to replace him with a one-night stand. She was so positive she was having a girl that she didn't bother having any tests. You should've seen the look on her face when a screaming baby boy was born.

He went downstairs and went to eat. They ordered Italian. His brother was antisocial, staying his room and playing video games. François didn't mind, his mother made him like that. Unlike him, who was only able to go out to be shown off, his brother was locked away in his room. To be honest, he got the worst of her abuse. He was hit around, thrown outside in the cold, screamed at, hit with the buckle of the belt, and all because he wasn't a girl. Once, she didn't feed him for four days because he didn't want to eat his vegetables. François cooked for their mother, and fed him off his plate when she was sleeping.

With his grandparents on a date, he called up one of his friends chatted with her.

He shook his head as he ate. "Oh my gosh, girl, I just had the worst gender dystopia ever."

"Just tell me about it, my aunt came over and started pointing out how hairy and big I look now."

"What a bitch!"