ALEX TURNER IMAGINES

A Miracle

warnings: angst, pregnancy & baby stuff, mentions of miscarriage (v. subtle)

a/n: photo is not mine, credits to its owner!

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You and Alex shared a dream that danced in the corners of your minds and whispered in the quiet moments of your life together – the dream of welcoming a baby into your arms. Each month, the anticipation would rise, and you'd eagerly take pregnancy tests, hoping dearly for that elusive positive sign.

As the months turned into a year, the weight of disappointment grew heavier. The hope that had once fluttered in your hearts now clung to fragile threads. Negative pregnancy test after negative pregnancy test cast shadows on your dreams, and the joy you longed for seemed to slip through your fingers like sand.

In the face of this heartache, you both decided to seek answers. The doctor's office became a place of vulnerability and uncertainty. The tests came back, delivering a blow that shattered the fragile sanctuary of your hopes – you were infertile, physically unable to have a child, the chances were very, very low, under 1%. The news hung in the air, heavy with sorrow, and the dreams you had woven together seemed to crumble into dust.

Alex, usually the pillar of strength, your rock, couldn't conceal the pain etched on his face. He was obviously fighting back his tears, wanting to be strong for you. You, too, felt a profound ache, as if a piece of your shared future had been stolen away. The reality of infertility struck like an unexpected storm, leaving you both to grapple with its aftermath.

In the quiet moments that followed, you clung to each other, navigating the waves of grief together. The journey that lay ahead was uncertain, but in the shadow of shattered dreams, a new chapter awaited, one that would test the resilience of your love and redefine the meaning of family.

After the appointment and its painful revelation, Alex and you discussed the possibilities of adoption, fostering, and even considered the option of IVF. The desire to have children lingered persistently in both your lives. Alex dedicated hours in front of his laptop, researching and refusing to surrender to despair. His determination was heartwarming, yet it weighed heavily on your conscience.

The yearning for a family, complete with your own children, your own flesh and blood, persisted despite the challenges. The undeniable truth remained – it was your body that stood as an obstacle, denying both you and Alex the path to parenthood. The ache was profound; all you wished for was to cradle your baby in your arms, studying their tiny face for echoes of you and Alex. In your mind, you replayed the scene repeatedly – would they inherit his eyes? His nose? Dreaming about holding your child felt both happy and sad, and you weren't yet ready to abandon the thought.

*

It all began with bouts of dizziness and waves of nausea. Initially, you dismissed it, assigning the symptoms to low blood pressure, not having eaten enough, or inadequate hydration. As the persistent dizziness lingered, concern crept in. The impact on your daily life intensified; getting up or walking became difficult, confining you to the sofa for most of the day.

During this challenging time, Alex found himself on a week-long concert tour in Europe. Not wanting to burden him with what seemed like a trivial matter, you chose not to disclose your condition. Instead, you made a silent journey to the doctor's office, preferring to tackle the uncertainty alone. The last thing you wanted was for Alex to worry about you while he was miles away, immersed in his musical commitments.

The doctor examined your heart rate and blood pressure, reassuring you that everything appeared normal. To rule out any potential infections, he proceeded to collect samples of your blood and urine. With a promise to provide results later that afternoon, you left the clinic, the weight of uncertainty lingering.