Unpredictable Change

Part 38

Chapter 38

Growing up, forgiveness has always been something I've struggled with. I guess it's because I've been betrayed and hurt so many times that it's hard to let go, and I also have this habit of paying people back in their own coins. That is the reason I left home to prove my mother wrong. That I wasn't useless. I've been able to prove her wrong, yet it feels like there's no room in my heart to forgive her.

"I know I'm in no position to tell you how to live your life because I haven't been the best mother to you."

"You're right about that," I say, looking away.

"And I'm sorry about that." I'm stunned for a moment. I've seen my mom doing all kinds of things to make up for what she did in the past, but I've never seen her make an apology.

"Are you saying this because I'm somebody now? I remember you calling me good for nothing, useless, and a whole lot. What changed?"

"I understand your anger and I can't blame you, but I hope you one day bury all the hurtful things I've said to you and forgive me."

"I'm not angry, mom! I'm just so hurt, and I don't know how to let all those terrible things you said to me go. I really want to forgive you, but I don't know how, so please, just enjoy the fact that I've let you into my life right now. And I also appreciate what you did today. I mean, for not bringing my aunt and Priscilla with you." She smiles.

"And about your mother-in-law, I think you should apologize to her. It doesn't matter what she did, you shouldn't have talked to her like that. Try and understand your husband. No son would want his mother to be disrespected in any way." From all the times that I've known my mother, this is the most sensible thing she has ever said. After our conversation, I heeded her words and apologized to Julia, but she was indifferent as always. I then go and apologize to Justin for my behavior earlier. I never thought I'd ever listen to any advice my mom offers, but here I am today.

"I'm really sorry about how I spoke to you earlier." He puts his hand in his pocket and stares at me.

"I am sorry too. I shouldn't have reprimanded you in front of everyone, but I also hope you understand that my mom is my mom. No matter how crappy she is, I will feel bad when someone disrespects her, especially in front of people." I sigh.

"Yes, I get it, but I'd also appreciate it if your mom doesn't come here again." He chuckles and pulls me into his arms.

"I'm not crazy to let you and my mom share the same roof. You'll burn down the house. I know how much she dislikes you, and I don't think that's ever going to change, but I love you so much for putting up with all her rude remarks." He plants kisses on my face and lips. "She will only see her grandchildren when we go for a visit or on special occasions. Speaking of occasions, our anniversary is next week." He says, squealing with excitement.

"Yes! And I can't believe Sophie and Alex will be getting married at the same time. Why are they in a hurry? I thought they'd reschedule it to next year, February 14th."

"I thought so too," he exclaims, and we both laugh. Sophie and Alex are behaving like teenagers with their cliché 14th February Valentine wedding.

"How about we ignore all the guests and prepare ourselves for next week," he says, giving me a seductive smile. He throws me on the bed, and I start laughing. He unbuttons my black jeans and raises my top up. I giggle as he tickles my stomach with his hand.

"You know I'm not comfortable with you seeing me naked yet. I just had two babies come out of my vagina. The space is open now, and my stretch marks are making me a bit insecure," I joke around. He gets off me and straightens the ends of his shirt.

"The only reason I'm stopping is that I don't want you to feel pain when I penetrate. The rest of what you said is utter bullshit. I even find you more sexy with more weight. You fit into almost all your clothes, and your stretch marks are not even visible." He bends down and kisses my belly before leaving the room. I smile while lying on the bed. I button my jeans and head out to join the celebration. I should get the bad mother's award because I haven't even looked for my children. I go outside to find them soundly asleep on Christine and Gina's laps. Immediately I get there, Jazz starts crying as if she knows her mother's scent. I pick her up into my arms, staring at her green eyes, which she inherited from Greg. He hasn't stopped bragging about it since he got here. I wanted Kyle to have the green eyes so he can charm the girls with it when he grows, but he took his father's curly hair. Justin really has strong genes because they took his curly hair and skin color. I don't even know how it's possible for Kyle to look like me and have his father's skin color. I'm pissed. He is too beautiful for a boy and with that white skin, he sure will be a darling when he grows. Gina helps me carry a sleeping Kyle to bed while I breastfeed my princess. She is not even two months old, and she has this long curly hair just like Justin. Justin and I have agreed not to cut her hair. We refuse to drown in this Ghanaian cutting of girls' hair saga.

Looking at them, I can't help but thank God for this blessing. He keeps blessing me each and every day, even when I don't go to church or even read my Bible. Now that I have lives to protect, I hope and pray that God will grant me the will to worship him and train them under His guidance. Justin isn't a very religious person despite staying with Grandma Lisa for so long. He hardly prays, but it's not too late to drag him to God. Having fame and money doesn't guarantee good health and long life. Only God can provide these. I don't even know why I'm getting all religious and Godly all of a sudden.