Destined to be

34. Her clover

"OnLy FoR YoU mY dArLiNg" Niya mimicked thinking about Shubman while standing at the balcony. Her hands resting on the railings while her head hanging low from the all tiring day's work. Well maybe not. Maybe that was all an excuse she tried giving to herself as she didn't want to face the reality. Not when it was something like that.

"Breathe inn, Breathe out" She said trying to calm herself down. It was like the most days, just her trying to cope up all by herself.

Earlier that day :

She was in a meeting when her phone rang. It was her father's call. She texted him and told she will call him back later.

"Hello Papa, actually I was in a meeting so..." She started to give an explaination but was cut in between by her father.

"So? So what Niya? You aren't doing any kind of an EXCELLENT thing by working for yourself if you think so. So stop boasting yourself." He yelled across the phone.

His words ran down piercing her heart. Her own father? And he would say this? Why?

"Hmmm" She gave a response.

He cut the call immediately. Niya landed on her bedroom floor with a thud while crying.

It was always like this since her teenage years. Her parents never really understood her, nor could she make them understand. Well not everyone's on good terms with their parents. Right? (Why? That's yet to know)

She couldn't calm herself down. She was filled with enough rage at this point. The anger that could make someone commit something so wrong  —they can't even think of.

"Why? Why can't my parents understand me ever? Why can't they? Why can't I explain it to them? Why did he have to say that? YES. YES. YES I KNOW I AM THE WORST DAUGHTER TO EXIST BUT THEY AREN'T THE BEST EITHER!" Niya yelled at the top of her lungs trying to take out all the frustration.

"And why would you think that?"

Niya looked at the hand placed on her shoulder. She couldn't dare to look up. Not this way. Not when she is so broken. He might think she is weak.

"Nii"

"Ye..yes...Shubhi" She tried to sound cheerful but failed miserably.

"I am here to listen. I won't judge you ever. I promise." He said taking her in a hug and she finally broke down into her safe space. He caressed her back while she clutched onto him even more tightly. His one hand was on the back of her head.

"Maybe home is nothing but two arms holding you tight when you are at your worst."

"Am I not good Shub? Am I not a good person? Not a good daughter?" She asked between her cries.

"How can my world not be the best? It's all because of you Niya, because of you and only you. Why did that thought even arrive in your mind?" Shubman said in a composing tone.

"Just like that" Niya didn't want to tell him what had happened. Maybe he will judge her, her parenting, her everything.

"No. This is not one of those just-like-that things. Tell me and I want the truth." Shubman said a bit sternly.

She started narrating him the whole thing. All this time he held both of her hands tightly indicating he was always there.

"When....when...I was...14..." She tried forming words but was at loss.

"It's okay. It's okay. Take your time. Tell it only if you are comfortable." He said cupping her face.

"I am no therapist. But I promise I will listen. I will care."

"No it's...it's fine." She said calming her breath.

He handed her a glass of water and she chugged it down. She started narrating it again.

"When I was 14..um.. actually I was going through a hard time. I know people will be like what hard time a 14 year has but trust me the world isn't easy for teenagers at all. People don't understand you and besides that you as a teenager are still discovering yourself, finding yourself. At that time I had only 2 friends. They were with me from the first day of the school. We were a best friends trio. One of them moved to the U.S. and the other one changed school. I was alone around known people. I was struggling. My hormones were imbalance as going through puberty. My mental health was disturbed. I used to cry for days. My parents thought it was because I didn't want to study. They said I was making up excuses. But I also couldn't explain it to them coz it was all new for me too. I too didn't know why I was bawling my eyes out straight for days, why the smallest things upset me and I got triggered at the slightest of moments.

My mom said I needed a psychiatrist.
My dad said I belonged to the mental asylum.

"That was the last time I tried telling them what was going onn with me. From that day till now I haven't ever told them a word about my life."

Niya struggled to speak but she decided to let it all out finally after so many years. She looked upto Shubman who still got a tight hold of her and blinked his eyes in a comforting response.

"When you can't look at the bright side I will sit with you in the dark. Turn around and I will be there. Maybe I won't have anymore light to give you than what you already have but I will hold you hand and we will find it together."

"I used to see teenagers around and my friends who used to tell their parents about their complete days. What they did what not and their parents listening to it. I could never do that so I was just looked upto those kids and thought how lucky they were. I was 14 when I...hit... depression... It.. it just grew with time.  It all was the same till I was 17. At that time I found friends who were struggling through the same or even worse. We talked about mental health and took care of each other. Made sure we were happy atleast when outside. Diwali sure is a festival of happiness but maybe for others. For me it has always been the worst of my days. We used to get diwali vacations at school and classes so no meeting friends for days. It was the worst time of the year when everyone else was celebrating around I used to stay locked in my room for days and what hurt more was that my parents didn't care about it. Never did they ask me why I was sad like that. Whenever maybe I shed a tear during breakfast or dinner they might say that it's all drama about my academics. Being an introvert it's even more difficult. My social anxiety has increased since then and it will never be the same." Niya finally completed. Tears were running down her cheeks.

"I will always love you." These were the first words Shubman said with a few tears in his eyes.

"Show me the most damaged part of your soul I will show you how it shines like gold."

"To be honest I don't have enough words but I have the arms to hug, the ears to listen to whatever you want to talk about and a heart that completely belongs to you. I can't promise to fix all your problems but I can promise to solve them with you."

"I swear I couldn't love you more than I do now and yet I know. I will tomorrow."

"We fall, we break, we fail but then we rise, we heal, we overcome."

Niya couldn't help but adore the gem she found. The purest of all. The one she felt guilty at the moment to doubt what he would think about her but for now and forever he won't ever give her a chance to let that thought arrive in her mind was something that she knew.

🍀 She knew he was the four leafed clover of her life.🍀

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A/n : Hope y'all like it. Please vote and comment.

Big thanks to all the people mentioned below for commenting on the last chapter.

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~Bye until next time