Broken Glass (Tyler Lupin)

3~ Blackmail

(Tw- Mentions Of Self-Harm/Panic Attack)

Tyler had many different ways of coping during a panic attack, but most of them didn't work. After being sorted into Slytherin, three years ago, he started writing down how he felt. Wich included long, angry, paragraphs about people he couldn't stand. He hadn't opened them for almost a year. He didn't want to turn into a horrible person. At least...not yet.

Severus stood there, laughing. He held the book and waved it about like some sort of medal. Tyler was getting ready to punch him. "I can't believe you have a crush on Potter's sister, that's desgusting" He spat. Tyler looked at him, confused. He didn't even know Potter had a sister, and he certainly didn't remember writing about a crush? "What are you talking about?" He shouted, trying to snatch the book out of Snape's hand.

Snape stepped back and opened it. He started scanning through the pages. "Dear Diary..." Snape said, as he started reading it out loud. Barty laughed, Regulus looked at the floor. "She looked at me today. She stopped talking to my stupid brother Remus for once and-" Tyler grabbed the book, angrily. He didn't even remember writing that, it must have been during 1st year.

"She doesn't even know who you are, Tyler" Barty said. Tyler tucked the book into his cloak pocket. "Leave me alone" He mumbled. But Snape didn't listen. He got even closer and continued laughing. "I've read every single page of that book, Lupin. I know your deepest darkest secret. should I tell them about your little problem..." Snape grabbed Tyler's wrist.

He was Terrified. No...Petrified. Snape knew. He knew about the Self-Harm. As he looked at Severus, he wanted the ground to consume him. "D...Don't tell them" Tyler begged, looking at a very confused Barty and a slightly scared Regulus. "I won't tell anyone...If you do my Homework..."

"Are you...blackmailing me?" Tyler asked. He shivered, but it wasn't cold.
Snape laughed again, Tyler couldn't stand to look at him anymore. He punched him, hard. "Guess I'll Just have to tell the whole school, that will be fun" Severus mumbled, wiping the blood from his lip. Tyler switched from anger to panic. He grabbed Severus by the shoulder before he could leave. "Wait...please don't, I'm sorry"

How had he been brought so low? By a student who was bullied by almost every Gryffindor. It was embarrassing. "Er...I have to go to class" Regulus said. Barty suddenly found the courage to speak up too. "Yeah, me too" He said, awkwardly. "Go to class then, Me and Lupin aren't done yet" Snape yelled. The other two left Immediately. Barty held up his middle finger to Tyler as he left.

"So, I was thinking, You could do my Homework for the rest of term. But get anything under an A and I'll scream your little secret to the whole school, understood?" He looked at Tyler with no emotion. Just...pure Evil Intent. Tyler nodded, regardless. He wasn't ready for people to know. They would make fun of him, call him weak. At least that's what he thought.

"I want to hear you say It, Freak" Snape shouted, shoving Tyler and causing him to smack his head into a tree. "Yes, I'll do your homework, I promise" He replied. "Good" Snape walked away from him, finally, and back into the castle. The second he was gone, Tyler stopped breathing. He grabbed onto the tree for support. His legs stopped working and he went all wobbly.

He was having a panic attack.

Unfortunately, for Tyler, this was normal. But that didn't make it any less scary. He tried so hard to act tough infront of everyone else, but in reality he couldn't go a week without panicking about something or someone.

He cried until he couldn't cry anymore, then he felt rather hungry. So he pulled himself up off the grass and slowly walked back inside. Luckily, It was still breakfast. Student's were running around, throwing food at eachother. James and Sirius were playing catch with a spoon. Remus looked at Tyler as he entered, but quickly looked away.

Sometimes It was like they didn't even know eachother.

After grabbing a bowl of magical cereal, he sat down next to some 6th years. They were much older than him, wich was scary, but they were much more mature and they didn't pick on him like everyone else. So he appreciated that. He ate his food and tried hard to swallow. It was always hard to manage after a Panic Attack.

Snape was talking to someone at the other end of The Hall. It scared Tyler because he kept wondering wether or not Severus would keep his end of the bargain. After staring at him for about ten to twenty minutes, It was finally time to go to class. He thought about skipping, but he had done that yesterday so they were bound to notice. He also needed to get some knowledge to be able to complete Snape's homework.

His first lesson was DATDA, wich he usually enjoyed more than any other. Although, something different happened In this particular lesson. They had a new teacher. He was a tall, handsome man, anyone could see that. But Tyler noticed that Remus was acting really strange around him. It was almost like he a crush...Wait, was Remus gay? Tyler knew Remus didn't like girls but he always thought it was because of the whole werewolf thing.

Remus smiled, giggled and put up his hand way too often. It wasn't subtle. Tyler wished he could say something to him, but he knew it would start an argument. They grew up in an Orphanage where people called eachother gay as an Insult.

Halfway through the lesson, Tyler saw some of the Student's at the back of the class passing notes to eachother. His mind started to race again, wondering If they were talking about him. They weren't. Infact, It was Peter passing a note to Jo about how he thought she looked cute In her uniform, but Tyler didn't know that, so he got himself worked up.

When Class ended, Tyler decided not to go to the next one. Instead, he went straight to his room and started doing Severus's homework. He wanted to burn everything, and throw it all away, but he couldn't. Snape really would tell everyone about the cutting, and he couldn't let that happen. Ever.
He spent hour after hour educating himself and writing down what he hoped was the correct answer.

He was surprised to see how much he learned. But he didn't like that It took someone blackmailing him for him to start learning. What did that say about him as a person? Was he really that weak that he couldn't take care of himself unless someone forced him to? He made a note to speak to Pomfrey about that next week. Not the Severus situation, of course, but the needing to be controlled.

His life seemed to spiral out of control when he was the one trying to control it. Sometimes he would sleep for hours on end, loosing track of what day It was. That was until he went back to Self-Harm and it became impossible to sleep. It made him exhausted, but a different type of exhausted.

Suddenly, Tyler saw something on his pillow. It was a little envelope with a red stamp. He picked it up, scared that It was going to curse him or something. He thought it might be a prank, but the letter opened and a voice came out of It. He stood, shocked.

Hey, Tyler Is It? I'm Josette. Regulus told me about what Snape did to you earlier, cornering you like that...must have been horrible. I Just wanted to say I'm so sorry. He's horrible, my brother James and I have to deal with his nastiness every day. As a good Gryffindor Citizen, and as someone who thinks not all Slytherin's are bad...Even though I barely know you, I want you to know we've got your back. Mary said she'll punch Snape so hard he'll loose his vision. Wich would be funny to see.

She giggled, and Tyler found himself Blushing. He couldn't even see her, It was just a peice of paper, but he loved the sound of her voice. It was much posher compared to him and Remus. He found it funny, but also beautiful. He could almost listen to it forever. And she was apologizing, wich didn't make sense, It wasn't her fault.

After the letter ended, It exploded. Wich was probably for the best. At least now Snape couldn't get his hands on it. After finishing Snape's Homework, Tyler felt alot more calm about the situation. He felt like someone cared, even If he had never actually spoken to Josette face to face before.

And suddenly, despite his terrible nerve-wracking day, he slept well for the first time in...forever. All thanks to Jo, a girl he barely knew. But would definitely get to know...