Broken Glass (Tyler Lupin)

15~ But...He's a boy

(A VERY SPECIAL BI AWAKEING IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN)
Tw- brief mention of past sh

The summer break

Dear Tyler
Haven't heard from you lately. Hope your okay.

Tyler opened the letter, slowly.  One week into the summer break, and he struggled to get out of bed. He was suffocating, amongst the walls of his childhood bedroom. He kept a pocket knife, a razor blade and a sharpener, and hid them away from matron, who often went through the boys' stuff.

He hasn't used them, not since school. the self harm had stopped, for now. He was too tired to pick up a blade, too exhausted to roll up a sleeve. He didn't have that urge anymore, he just wanted to feel…nothing. To do nothing, and to talk to no one.

Well, except Jeremy. He would read every letter, over and over, every night before bed. Sometimes he would imagine Jeremy next to him. Telling him that everything was going to be okay, and that he'd get better. He'd be happy again. They would cuddle and….this wasn't weird? Right? He wasn't….no, he couldn't be.

Dear ty,
Don't kill yourself…yeah? Can't really afford a funeral :(

He laughed at the most recent letter. It was all he could do. He didn't have the energy to write back, even if it was just to let Jeremy know that he was still alive, he couldn't do it. It wasn't until the train journey back to Hogwarts, that Jeremy finally got his answer.

"Tyler! Your not dead! Brilliant!" Jeremy exclaimed, loudly, as he walked down the train isle. Tyler desperately wanted to tell him to shut up. People were watching. Jo was watching. She appeared to be sitting by herself, waiting for someone? Probably James, or Mary. Tyler couldn't remember who she hung out with, whenever he looked at her all he saw was her. Everyone else became invisible.

"So, how was your summer?" Jeremy asked. He shrugged, and followed the older boy into the nearest carriage. He sat down next to the open window, glared at it, then turned back to Jeremy. "I want to throw myself under the tracks-" Tyler mumbled. Jeremy nodded, he wasn't shocked, or upset. He understood. "Bad summer then?" He asked. Tyler hummed and leaned back onto the seat. He wanted to go back to bed.

The door to the room swung open, but they couldn't see anyone. "What was that?" Jeremy stood up, scared. "Probably just a first year..." Tyler groaned. "And that's why I don't want to go back, everyone's awful. I hate the lot of them" Jeremy sat back down, and looked Tyler in the eye. "Everyone? I seem to remember a certain Jo Potter you had your eye on last year"

"You make it sound so...small. It's not a crush, Jeremy, I love her" "woah! Slow down there mate, you don't even know her!" He argued. He looked sad, almost disappointed. "Yes I do! I know lots about her!"

He thought about Jo, and her pretty face. Her beautiful brown eyes, her soft skin. She always knew how to make people laugh. In lessons, when they mixed everyone together, Tyler would always sit across from Jo, so he could glance over every so often. He loved the smell of her perfume, and he loved the sound of her laugh.

"Do you think she would ever go out with someone like me?" Tyler asked, nervously. "I would" Jeremy laughed. Tyler blushed, for some...unknown reason. His chest tightened. Butterflies flew through his stomach. It was a similar feeling to what he felt around Jo, but in it he felt alot less...comfortable. Jeremy was his friend. Jeremy was a boy.

He pushed away the thoughts, and forced out a laugh. Jeremy was probably joking, and so he made sure to act accordingly. However, he must have done something wrong because Jeremy stopped talking after that. He put on a set of headphones, a new make that Tyler had never seen before, and looked out the window instead, lost in thought.