Joy and Hope

16 Reality

'Cold, so fucking cold. Why is it cold. And wet, what in the fresh hell is this'. Putting your arms around you to find heat. Fuck now your drowning.

You snap open your eyes. Coughing, arms flying. The bathroom light is so bright, fuck. You had fallen asleep. There's water on the floor and as you make your way out of the tub you try to stay on your feet, but fail miserably. Arse over tit you bash your ear on your way down. Shit.

Now, was it the bubbles or the time in the tub that made your legs forget how to work.

>kitty, I blame it on your vivid imagination.

>brain. Hey don't blame me. Shit there's blood.

You've hardly slept all night and when you do finally see the insides of your eyelids the sun is already making its presence known in the sky. What happened last night? You dress and get ready for the last schedule of the contract. You tried to eat but couldn't stomach anything.

Why would he play with you like that?

Was that all he wanted? 'Was I just a toy?'

'Shit, it was a dream. He didn't come to your room, he didn't make you cum on his tongue. You had a bath, drank your wine in the bath and feel asleep. Get your head on straight'

>kitty, we wanted all those feelings and sensations. We wanted him to be the one to break your dry spell.

>brain, how can you be so stupid. He's the one paying the check.

>heart. No, he is a friend. Maybe.

>kitty. I can still feel his smile.

>brain. It didn't happen. there's no need to embarrassed.

The car ride over to the venue for the photo shoot only takes around 30minutes. The hpa tries small talk but have your headphone over your ears, and have your eyes closed .The logic behind this behaviour, that he will think you have a hangover and leave you alone until your needed to work. Your so embarrassed by your dream and would rather him think you were a light weight with alcohol and slightly unprofessional than the reality, you having sex dreams about him.

Once you have arrived at the studio, the introductions are made and the itinerary is laid out.  The other hpa arrives too. You don't know why but you are both happy and sad to see her. The photographer is from El Salvador.  Turns out she has worked with this photographer before and they are sharing memories.

The Hair and make up Nunas get to work. Its time to work,  your professional mask is in place. You start by making sure Jhope and his team understand the photographers vision. Making sure that the staff have access to all equipment they may need, that's not really your job but as you are the one with the ability to communicate with everyone in the room, you don't mind doing extra, Next you check in with the other hpa.

"Take a seat," she says with her beautiful smile. "It's different for the mv shoot right?" You stay standing, and say "Yes, the last 2 days have been intense. There's been a lot of different moving parts. It's kind of exhausting if I can be honest. I've been privileged enough to work on mv sets before so I know that it can be taxing on the artists and that they can run longer than scheduled,  I've enjoyed it though!"

She's smiling at you and is very sincere when she says " You seem like a really interesting person and I wish you could talk to me, you look a little lonely, I get it, you don't know me and you won't open up to a stranger, but I would like to become your friend. Maybe one day." Not sure how to answer, you smile and stay quiet.

"When I said to you last night that it was you that could be making him happy, I hope you didn't think I was over stepping. Really, I want to explain a bit more if I can?".