All I Wanted Was You

S I X : Angels Like You Can't Fly Down Hell With Me

*~𝒷𝒾𝓁𝓁𝒾𝑒

"She's getting late, so I'll put her to bed first." He announced as I felt the little girl snoring softly on my lap, her tiny hand clutching my necklace. I smiled and caressed her forehead.

"Sure. She's already in dreamland," I chuckled. He grinned and brushed her hair.

"Come on, let's tuck her in then." He suggested. I nodded, lifting Mila upstairs, following him.

He guided me into his room, which was spacious. I laid her on the bed, covering him with a blanket, leaving a kiss on her soft cheek. I turned around and saw Jesse, who was on his phone.

"What's so captivating there?" I inquired.

"Oh sorry what?" He blinked.

"What are you doing there?"

"Oh I was just about to text Gab." He beamed.

My heart sank but what the hell could I do?

"I should get going. See you around, Jesse." I walked past him and his eyes widened, pulling me back. "Are you out of your mind? Where are you going at this time?"

"Home." "Billie, are you really going back to Matthew?"

"Why not? I mean, what other options do I have?" "You can stay here."

"Well, not indefinitely and I want to leave. So I hope you understand that, Jesse." "Billie you're fucking absurd. I have no words for you. It's your choice I suppose. Bye."

He said, sounding a bit irritated. Who could blame him? But isn't he already fucking content with Gab? So why do I still have feelings for him when he moved on and already has a daughter  and he's married.

I might as well go back to my abusive boyfriend. At least, I have someone to call my 'partner' then.

I left his house, feeling a whirlwind of emotions. I keep repeating the same error. There's no way out now.

Angels like him can't fly down hell with me.

Jesse came sprinting from inside. "Billie wait!" He exclaimed, making me turn around. "What?" "How are you going to get home?" "I don't know? Call a cab or something?" He groaned. "Billie, I might as well drive you then."

I declined his offer. "No it's fine. It's late and I don't want you to risk driving at this hour." I said gently. "Shut the fuck up dude. Now it's either me taking you home or you're going to have to stay here for the night." "Fine. Thanks though."

"No problem, I'll get Mila."

He returned with a sleeping Mila in his arms and I felt so guilty. "Hey are you sure? She's asleep." "She won't wake up don't worry." He said, fastening her into her carseat at the back. He drove to my place.

The ride was quiet and before I could get out of the car, Jesse came over and opened the door for me. Like he always does.

I smiled and thanked him. "Thank you for driving me home Jes. It means a lot." "Don't thank me Billie. I just did what I had to do. But please. Please, promise me that you'll text or call me if you'd ever change your mind." He implored.

"Okay. I will. Now don't worry about me. Good night and drive safe." "Mila will be looking for you in the morning." I laughed. "I'll try to come by tomorrow." I said, seeing a smile light up his face. "Right. Good night Bil." He said, and I hugged him.

I felt a surge of emotion as I held him close, wondering if this was the last time I would see him. I pulled away and got out of the car, waving at him as he drove off. I walked to the door of my house, feeling a pang of regret.

I wished I could stay with him and Mila, but I knew it was impossible. He had his life and I had mine. And mine was a fucking bitch, waiting for me inside. Matthew.

I opened the door and saw him sitting on the couch, holding a bottle of whiskey. He looked up and glared at me. "Where the fuck have you been?" He snapped. "I-I was at Jesse's place and you know t-that." I said, trying to sound calm.

"You were at Jesse's place and didn't leave when I told you to?" He said, his voice rising. "You dumbass bitch!" He uttered as he pulled my hair harshly, causing me to grimace in agony.

He shoved me onto the sofa, and got on top of me. I attempted to escape his hold but to no avail. He bent down, reducing the distance between our visages.

He warned, releasing me and tossing me on the ground. "You better not cross me. You know the goddamn consequences you'd go through."

I jerked up and curled into a ball, crying uncontrollably. How could he despise me so much? He swore to me, saying that he would always guard me and adore me, but he was not the Matthew who uttered those words.

I dragged myself upstairs, finding him on his phone. I brushed away my tears and stepped into the bathroom, taking a shower. Just for some solace.

After a while, I returned and saw Matthew fast asleep. I switched off the lights and crawled into bed with him, but I could not cuddle with him. He was not my Jesse.

I clutched a pillow and wept into it, clueless about what to do next. I should have just stayed there, but no. I would be hurting myself then. Gab would be back in a matter of a week, and after that, he would be hers and she would be his. And I would have to leave, shattered.

A broken heart is what I have.

A dark past that I can never erase.

A fake smile that I'm unable to conceal.

I closed my eyes and wished for a miracle. A miracle that would take me back to the days when I was happy with Jesse. When we laughed and kissed and made music together. When we were in love.

But no miracle came. Only the sound of Matthew's breathing and the silence of my loneliness. I felt like a ghost in his bed, a shadow of who I used to be.

Has Jesse ever regretted letting me go? Or if he was happy with Gab, the girl who technically stole him from me?

I hated her. I hated him. I hated myself. I hated everything.

I wished I could stop loving him. But I couldn't. He was the only one who ever made me feel alive.

And now I was fucking dying on the inside.

I heard him stir and open his eyes. He glanced at me and gave me a faint smile. He didn't notice the tear stains on my face or the pain in my eyes. He didn't care.

He got up and walked to the washroom, leaving me alone in the dark. I heard the water running and the toilet flushing. He was washing away the traces of me, just like he did with his phone.

He came back and slid into bed, wrapping his arm around me. He kissed my cheek and whispered "I love you" in my ear. He fucking lies. God. I hate him with my life!

I didn't say anything. I didn't move. I didn't feel.

I just waited for the dawn to break and end this nightmare.

^𝓽𝓸 𝓫𝓮 𝓬𝓸𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓾𝓮𝓭...