BORN TO DIE | R. Arcturus Black

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Chapter Twelve: Guilt will kill (2)

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Seated two seats away from Regulus Black, she found herself eyeing him as he lazily scribbled on a sheet of parchment. The quill in her hand was ready to snap at any moment. She had arrived 15 minutes early, hoping to make a good impression on Regulus Black. However, despite her efforts, Regulus simply instructed her to sit at the back end of the table and wait until the clock hit the top of the hour.

She let out a sigh and leaned back in her chair, staring up at the ornate designs that adorned the library's ceilings. Her eyes traced the intricate patterns and delicate carvings, trying to find some solace in the beauty around her, somewhere to pass the time.

Each time she had felt like giving up, Ron liked to remind her that being eaten by a dragon is always worse than whatever she was going through. She couldn't deny that his humour was often invaluable in moments of stress.

She remembered delightful times how they had laughed and joked while studying together, and the warmth of their strangely-founded friendship still lingered within her heart. She missed him. She missed all of them. She had been trying so hard lately to forget but she didn't have the heart to. She hoped they were alright, she hoped everything was alright. As she remembered the events of that fateful year, Janet's breath became shallow.

The death of Cedric, Voldemort's return, and the rise of the Death Eaters.

Her gaze settled on Regulus, and she felt a sense of guilt and responsibility wash over her. As hard as she knew it would be, she needed to help him, for many reasons. Not only was Regulus one of the few people who could potentially be of help to her, but he was also far too young to be involved in this war. She couldn't bear the thought of him, or anyone else, ending up dead like Cedric or in a position like Draco's.

Or falsely locked up in Azkaban like Sirius.

She couldn't help but muse on the possible reasons for Regulus joining Voldemort. Was he truly doing it for himself, or was he simply trying to please his parents and fulfil their expectations? Regulus was smart, too smart perhaps. How could he have made a decision so reckless?

Why did any of them?

Narcissa, the wife of Lucius, and the clear disdain she had for Voldemort and Janet couldn't help but feel a sense of pity for Narcissa. Despite her loyalty to her husband and her son, she seemed to have no interest in supporting Voldemort, even if she shared the same views.

Perhaps her decisions were influenced by her elder sister's.

And by elder sister she meant the more Lestrange one. Bellatrix.

Bellatrix hated Janet and Janet was proud to affirm that the feeling was indubitably mutual.

"Stop it."

She faced Regulus in surprise, had he read her mind? Her mental shields couldn't have fallen— "Stop staring at me. I can understand how hard it may be for you to divert your gaze from such pure genetics but do try; I simply can't concentrate while you are ogling me like a piece of meat."

Janet's mouth dropped open in shock. She was speechless, who did he think he was?! "Has it ever occurred to you that perhaps I was just pitying you?" And for the first time Regulus raised his head towards her. "Pity." He repeated. As though he was hearing the word for the first time. "Why would God be so cruel to curse a child with such a Black soul?"

"You would best be advised to stop. Nothing good comes after insulting the Black name —"

" — Or maybe it's just the inbreeding, I can't imagine what it would be like if my parents were also my cousins."