Plan Backfired

| Chapter 1: Turn of events |

Valentine sat at his desk, as always. He looked at the clock, then at his paperwork, and smiled slightly. Everything was peaceful. Everything was in control. That's how President Funny Valentine liked it.

He never wanted things to be out of his control, sudden things he hadn't planned to be turning against him. That rarely ever happened, ever since he became President, fate seemed like it was on his side.

Or, was it?

Valentine looked at the clock. Blackmore hadn't given him an update on the Steel Ball Run at the time he usually did. Actually, he didn't arrive at all. Weird, but it could be possible Blackmore was dealing with a foe or having trouble with his information.

That didn't sound right either. Blackmore rarely made mistakes.

Valentine tapped his foot. The growing silence was something he was growing dreadful of. He looked at the clock, then back at his paperwork, then at the door. He turned back to the clock again. Something was wrong, and for some reason, he couldn't shake off that feeling. It made this pit grow in his stomach, and he didn't understand what could happen to make him feel this way.

"Just calm down," Funny whispered to himself under his breath, "Things like this happen."

Although, what was about to occur didn't happen as normally as other things.

Blackmore's shoes clanked against the wooden floors, quick but light repetitive sounds. He was panting, barely even able to catch his breath. He needed to get to Valentine's office as soon as he could, that was his job as a bodyguard, and yet even his years of training hadn't prepared him for this kind of panic.

He silently cursed at everyone that suddenly turned on him and his President- Magenta Magenta, Wekapipo, Oyecomova... he cursed them all.

How did this even happen? Who could have thought of this and spread it to the others? Who could have even convinced the others to be doing this? This was mad, he thought, to be suddenly turning on the President this way!

Blackmore knocked quickly on the door to Valentine's office, giving three taps.

"Come in," Funny sighed in relief. He couldn't sit in that unbearable silence for much longer.

Blackmore was hasty, opening the door and shutting it behind them- but not slamming it. God forbid he ever slammed the door to Valentine's office. Or any room door, for that matter.

"Sir, we have an issue," Blackmore barely spoke, his voice airy from all the running he'd done.

This raised Valentine's eyebrows. No issue had made Blackmore this way. "What kind of issue?"

"The assassins, they've betrayed us," Blackmore's voice raised slightly, "All of them!"

"What do you mean all of them betrayed us? Are you sure you haven't made some major error?"

"I'm sure, sir!"

"Who started this? There isn't a chance all of my loyal assassins are traitors now," Valentine stood up and paced around the room, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Do you have any knowledge of what they're planning?"

"I-I'm so~rry, sir, but I don't."

"I see."

Valentine was calm on the outside. He always had to be. On the inside, however, his mind was racing to think of a plan- think of a method to end this absolute madness. All of his assassins had betrayed him? Just like that? He always knew Blackmore was the most loyal, but for him to be the only one left out of this was absurd.

He was in a state of pure disbelief, it almost felt like he was in a dream. A nightmare. He knew, however, that this wasn't some horrid way of his brain coming up with one of the worst scenarios to ever happen to him.

"Do... you have a plan, sir?"

Blackmore spoke up, snapping Valentine out of his train of thought. It almost made the man jolt.

"I'll need some time to think," Valentine furrowed his eyebrows slightly. "Are they attacking right now?"

"I'm so~rry, sir, but I'm not sure. If I may express my opinion, sir, I assume they must be thinking of a plan just like we are."

"I see." Valentine paused. "We're going to have to switch locations to a safer place. Staying here would be a foolish move. Inform the people at the White House of the situation if you haven't already."

"Yessir," Blackmore nodded. "Is that all?"

"That's all for now, Blackmore."

"Understood."

Blackmore nodded, giving a nod and creaked open the door to leave. He could already feel Valentine's stress, and frankly, he could understand that. Having trusted assassins suddenly turn on you- Stand users, at that- must have been terrible. He could never understand the panic the other was feeling, but he could try to.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I'm gonna be honest, this ain't the brightest idea I've heard of..."

Magenta Magenta sniffed and spoke with his gravelly voice, not bothering to wipe the snot from his nose with a tissue. He simply wiped it with his jacket sleeve, having rather gross habits that people got used to by now (although it didn't get easier to look at, either.)

"And that's saying a lot," Oyecomova interrupted, much to Magenta's displeasure. "Considering he is the biggest idiot on this team."

"Ey! I'll make ya eat those words, Mr Smartass!"

"I'll spit them in your face right after."

"Besides, at least I ain't a drunkard," Magenta huffed, fixing his hat that sat atop his curls.

"That's aimed!" Axl spoke up, grumbling and putting a hand on his hip.

Axl and Magenta were now glaring at each other at this point. Oyecomova was silently wondering why God sent him on this route, and silently complaining about it too. Wekapipo wanted to leave at this point.

This was going nowhere.

Oyecomova sighed, muttering something in Italian (knowing people like Magent and Axl were too stupid or lazy to know more than one language), and made a loud 'ahem' sound.

"Are we going to think of a proper plan to take care of Valentine, or not?"

The others went silent, Magenta and Axl looking at each other for a moment. Wekapipo was still silent but muttered a relieved 'thank you' under his breath.

"Because," Oyecomova continued, "God sent me on this road for a mission, and it isn't to be wasting time on useless bickering."

"'Course it's about ya! What about us? We got places to be, too!" Magenta seemed offended.

"Then hurry up."

"Ya little-"

This bickering continued for a while. Man, they weren't suitable to be doing this at all, were they? Where even was Diego right now, anyway...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dr. Ferdinand spun in his chair, jotting down notes on what was going on with a slight smile on his face. This was certainly entertaining- and taking the back seat to watch was his favourite thing to do. This felt like a play.

"This is melodramatic,"

The doctor hummed, fixing the pot of flowers on his desk.

"And yet, melodramatic people are always the most entertaining. I absolutely cannot wait to see how this turns out."