The Billionaire's Assistant

Chapter 12

She set off towards the den with her plate, nerves retwisting her stomach into knots. She couldn't place the origin of this renewed round of anxiety, she was headed back to the den with good news (and the twins favorite hummus and pita). She was sure that her reception would be celebratory, yet she couldn't shake the sense of foreboding that gripped at her icily, chilling her despite the slightly balmy air. It was the job itself, she realized. The idea of going in everyday wearing a mask, knowing that I'm an imposter, that I don't belong. I could be found out, she thinks with a start. I could be arrested.

She'd embarked on something bigger than herself, something dangerous. She'd always known that being a member of FES involved risk, Andy had been clear about that from the get go, but so far all she'd done were the small things the group is able to accomplish with their limited resources, things like the river clean ups, the community outreach, only using solar in the den where they lived. She'd already been a vegetarian, inspired (or perhaps disgusted) into the conversion after the discovery that the fish sticks she ate at her preschool and the silvery, quick little flashes she saw swimming in the lake were one and the same, but all the other members of FES were vegan so she'd joined suit, desperate to make any little extra sacrifice she could to make up for the way the world was being treated.

She knew that the things she did made no real difference. She knew that every individual in America could live exactly like the members of FES and it would make no difference, not as long as corporations like Tillibenton continued to poison the planet. Of course she'd joined FES to make a difference, but now, as the potential difference stretched expansively and invitingly ahead of her, each new step unknown, she wanted to shiver under the magnitude. If I do this right, she thought, excitement snaking around her existing anxiety, choking it out and concealing its thorns as if it were a creeping vine. If I pull this off.. She stops herself. A plan first, she thinks, quickening her pace. I need to get to the den. Andy is going to know exactly what to do.

Kat arrived at the den to cacophony, the voices within overlapping as soon as they heard her key in the lock. She was pulled in by Emma, nearly stumbling over the three low steps that led from the street to the basement unit, and the hysterically excited girl grabbed her by both shoulders, her grip deceptively strong for her size.

"Where have you been?" she insisted, a huge smile on her face. Everyone was crowded into the small entryway and they pressed towards her, anticipation filling the air.

"I got the job," she announced, her expression a reflection of the pleased faces around her. The twins cheered and Emma threw her arms around Kat's waist, squealing.

"I knew it," Emma cried. "I knew it, I knew it, what did I tell you Andy, I swear, I knew it."

Kat looked at Andy a bit shyly, already flushing with pride at the look she knew Andy was giving her. Despite her grit, Andy had the most beautiful way of looking at people, of seeing them. She had an inquisitive, studying eye that seemed to know you without judgment, that communicated so much while speaking nothing, that loved you without the burden of expectation.

It was that last element of her character, that lack of expectation, that made her pride and admiration worth more to Kat than gold. Andy didn't expect anyone to be as hardcore as she was, didn't expect people to care the way she did, didn't fault those who couldn't give up their daily luxuries the way she did. She understood, truly, which meant that when people did choose to make those sacrifices she was genuinely touched in a way that was evident in her expression. Andy had cried the night Kat had been initiated into FES, held her in the den and wept, promising her that she wouldn't fault her for returning to her cushy life in academia and thanking her for believing in them, Kat hands squeezed tightly in hers.