The Billionaire's Assistant

Chapter 19

Kat giggled, Emma's exasperated tone betrayed the ridiculousness of the limnology Erik story. He was the first and only boyfriend Kat had ever had, a sweet if slightly goofy older environmental sciences major who'd joined the limnology club she'd started. While she didn't exactly feel fireworks with him, they'd had a nice enough, short lived relationship that ended when he'd graduated. He was a genuinely kind man despite his social ineptitude, a man both well entrenched into the rut of his ways and deeply aligned with the continual pursuit of knowledge, leading him to the PhD program Kat had hoped to begin once she completed her undergraduate degree.

He had been much more heavily invested in the relationship than she was, and when what she thought was a mutual breakup ended in a rejected proposal, she couldn't have been more grateful for his impending graduation. He returned with a vengeance however, and the newly minted PhD student was TA to three separate courses that Kat took the next semester. The pattern continued, with Erik having some coincidental involvement in what seemed like every single one of Kat's classes and clubs until she'd completed her studies.

An environmental sciences PhD from Crefton had been her dream, but the entirety of her last semester the thought that she'd be joining Erik's program worried at the back of her mind. He was never rude or pushy, he was just there. Repetitively, hauntingly, there, an expression of hopeful vulnerability on his face. It hurt to hurt him. It hurt to hurt anyone, but particularly someone she knew cared about her, someone that had no bad intentions. At the back of her mind she always worried that she'd go back to him, that the awkwardness of someone wanting her, loving her, would make her acquiesce and feel the same for him. She certainly might've, despite the not entirely unpleasant, empty feeling that spending time with him brought forth in her.

She and Emma had talked the situation, which Emma called a non situation, to death, and now Emma groaned whenever the name Erik left Kat's lips.

"I'm just saying," Kat forged ahead. "If anything goes wrong, if we break up, the den is a really small place. It's not like avoiding him would be easy."

Emma nodded more seriously. "I mean, you like him, right? He's worth it?"

Kat considered, then shrugged. "Yea. Yea, I like him." A knot was forming in the pit of her stomach but she couldn't quite quantify its origin.

"Then go out with him. Just see how it goes. Besides," Emma said, her voice taking on a wily tone. "You probably need this more than he does."

Kat screwed her face up incredulously. "What is that supposed to mean?"

Emma curled her lips downwards, clearly working against the smile that was fighting its way though.

"Have you ever heard that Learia song? That girl too independent, Emma began crooning, imitating the popstar. She knows she gotta get it. Works hard, she never quit it. Has needs but he can give it."

"Emma, if you don't stop, I'm leaving," Kat threatened quietly, her face bright auburn as the few patrons of the shop turned to identify the source of the off key serenade.

"I'm serious!" Emma said with a laugh. "It's been over a year and a half since limnology Erik, a year and a half too long. Jack's gonna need to give you more than a kiss on the cheek."

"Emma!" came Kat's muted shriek of admonishment, and the two women fell into peals of laughter.

They finished up their coffees, catching up and gossiping about Brent's rumored new girlfriend, and went their separate ways, Kat heading into the office and Emma back to the den to meet Andy and trek to the river.

As she walked, the sound of Emma's easy laughter still fresh in her ears, the knot that had been resting in the bottom of her stomach began to grow. She realized with a start that she had yet to tell Emma, or Andy, about how she'd really gotten the job. She'd meant to tell them that night, but in all the excitement she'd forgotten. And the next night as well, the planning, and they had all gone to sleep early. But why hadn't she told Emma just now? They had been all but discussing the topic, attractiveness, boys, so why hadn't Kat told her that she only secured this role because the CEO found her too plain to distract?

She lightly chewed the inside of her lip as she thought, the slight pinpricks of pain helping narrow her focus. She didn't like thinking about it, that was why. She knew that she wasn't the flashiest, flash had never been her goal, but she always considered herself pretty enough. Her mother told her constantly, Mrs. Protgolio, all the regulars. She'd dated Erik, she'd had a prom date, and other boys had asked her out before, one or two of them. And Jack, Jack was interested in her. So why wasn't that enough, that knowledge that she, her friends and family, and the boys from her everyday life found her attractive? Why did she need approval from a man she didn't like, didn't even respect? A man she'd barely met and was likely to never see again?

Her only mission was to collect the data she needed, and get out. She didn't have to interact with him, and she wouldn't be. She fought the now familiar flare of disappointment fired from within her once more as she entered the headquarters building. The harder I work, the more information I collect, the faster I'll be out of here, thought Kat, her mind already on her covert transcription tasks as she pulled open the heavy glass door.