It's Not So Metaphorical Anymore

Chapter I

"Tyler?!" Josh calls as he walks in on a shocking scene. Shed clothing and warm bodies occupy the isle of the tour bus. His friend looking empty-eyed, underneath a man he didn't recognize. An array of panting and grunting fill the small space. Their eyes lock for a moment and Tyler mouths the words

"Get out of here" Josh processes this as he watches the man moving furiously, pinning his friend, forcing his fingers down Tyler's throat. Feeling a sudden sickness, Josh sprints out of the tour bus, immediately losing the meal he'd just enjoyed not twenty minutes before this whole ordeal. But he can still hear the sounds, bumping and squirming. He stands, shaking, making his way down the sidewalk to an unknown destination. Why did he let it get like this.

[3 months earlier]

Josh's POV

Tyler has been acting weird lately... Just yesterday he was jotting down some lyrics and we started talking. Midway through a conversation about foreign movies he stopped me,

"Can I ask you something Josh?" His words daunting and shaken. I nodded my head and made a confused-nervous sort of smile. He just looked at me for a while.

"You want a coffee?" He evaded. I know he had something too say. But didn't choke up enough courage to.
What could be so hard to ask? We've been best friends for ages, always sharing embarrassing stories and deep secrets. A few months ago before we started touring he opened up to me about when we met in high school. He said I helped him through a really rough patch that I didn't even know he went through. He told me about the kitchen sink in his old house, and how it's steal frame caught the blood the first time he tried to kill himself. What could be so bad that he can't tell me now, after all these years. It's worrying me. More so than I'd like to admit.

[one month later]

Tyler's POV

I've been laying in my bunk for a few hours. Scribbling down some -well, Josh thinks it's lyrics-things I need to say. Y'know saying the words has never been an issue for me. I write music about deep subjects and personal blah blah blah. But this. This is different. This could, this will change the rest of my life. I close my notebook and hop out of bed. Fix myself an instant microwave burrito, and slump lazily on the bench.

"Hey-o Ty, do you think I wouldn't smell those?" Josh skips over.

"Well I know how to make the boys come runnin' " I wink back, shooting Josh my million-dollar smile. He smiles back and opens the fridge, scanning up and down for something greasy or sugary. His back arches and his shirt climbs up his body. I catch myself before my eyes wander too much. He's just so perfect.

...I have to tell him...

The rest of the night goes normally. Until I find myself imagining Josh, Josh who's asleep just below me. I see his hands exploring my body, tracing around my chest and working down. My own hand creeps silently into my boxers. Tugging and groping. I imagine Josh's hand replacing my own -oh god, Josh's lips- I release all stress with a slow jerk and curl up in my blankets. I'm alone with my thoughts tonight, like most nights. I feel dirty, I don't deserve a friend like him.

I'm going to tell him tomorrow.

~~~

Josh and I are alone, it's been a long weekend and we finally have some time to chill out. Josh is watching some sci-fi show on Netflix, I'm pacing around in the 'kitchen' thinking about what this could turn out like, every possibility running through my mind. I walk up to him and ask if we could talk, he takes off his headphones and sits up. We look at each other for a solid 30 seconds until Josh does that thing with his eyes, like he's analyzing me trying to figure out my next move. My lips part and I speak, I think I'm speaking. I'm definitely not thinking.