'Yun ang problema sa aming mga lalaki. Kahit gusto naming magpakabait, marupok talaga kami. Kadalasan. Pero, ang totoo, marupok lang ako kapag wala ako sa relasyon. Because when I'm in a relationship, I give it my one hundred and twenty percent commitment. 'Yun nga lang kapag ako umayaw, nothing you'd say or do would change my mind.
My exes called me shallow. At hanggang ngayon ay hindi ko malaman kung tinatawag ba nila akong mababaw dahil ang dali-dali ko lang pasayahin o dahil kapag ako napuno, mababaw na rason lang bibitiwan na kita. Hindi naman pwedeng tinatawag nila akong mababaw dahil sa panlabas lang ako tumitingin dahil hindi pisikal na anyo ang ginagawa kong basehan para magustuhan ko ang isang babae. Gusto ko ng babaeng maalaga regardless of how you look. Ang totoo, mas pinipili ko 'yung mga hindi gan'un ka-attractive dahil ayoko ng lapitin ng ibang lalaki. Totoo 'yung sinasabi ng mga exes ko, seloso akong tao.
But, six exes later, I realized na wala 'yun sa hitsura, ang taong gustong mangaliwa ay mangangaliwa kahit na pangit pa s'ya. Kaya ang sabi ko sa sarili ko after my last break up, awat na, tama na. 'Yun ngang walang hitsura niloloko ka, paano na lang 'yung maganda?
Lolokohin ako nito panigurado, I thought to myself entranced by the sheer beauty of the woman reclined on the chair in front of me. Sa diyosa ng babaeng 'to, sigurado ako maraming lalaki ang naghahabol dito. At sino lang ba ako para tapunan nito ng oras?
"You probably shouldn't do that..." she said.
I nodded. You're right. I'll save myself from the heartache.
"It seems wrong..." she added clutching at her robe. "I mean fuck it, I've turned into a slut."
I frowned. You're inexperienced, how could you be a slut? Double standards nga naman.
"No, you are not a slut," I firmly said. "Women wanting pleasure are not sluts. Whoever gave you that idea is a prick."
She seemed relieved hearing my words.
I sighed. "But men forcing women regardless if the intent is to give them pleasure are called rapists and I don't want to be called one so kung ayaw mo, just say so, Eira, I'll respect it..."
Her expression was unreadable and she started fidgeting. "Hindi naman sa ayaw..."
So, gusto mo...? The thought floated inside my head while my other head eagerly agreed.
"Parang nakakahiya lang."
Napakainosente naman ng babaeng 'to.
"I'll help you reach your peak without penetration," I said.
Ano 'yan, Moore, magkakawanggawa ka? Sinong niloko mo?
I was about to open my mouth to retract what I said when she spoke.
"Um...ano pang kasama sa package...?"
I stared at her before I laughed. 'Langhiya, pwede ko na palang gawing negosyo 'to.
"Testing muna then you decide if you want more," I told her.
She nodded. "Okay..."
Shit. What did I get myself into?
"Um...are you going to begin...?" she asked worrying her lower lip. "Pakisabihan ako para...I can get ready..."
Tangna, na-pressure naman ako. Mamaya hindi ko magawa nang maayos dahil sa nerbiyos...
"I'll...I'll start touching you now..." I said.
She gave me a nervous nod.
I swallowed a groan when my hand made contact with her womanhood – she was soft...and wet.
