The Oldest Mikealson

[18] Alone

I've been sitting in an armchair for god knows how long. Stefan had brought me back to the compound a few hours ago. I haven't moved since we got here, and I'm not in the mood to do anything or talk to anyone. Stefan tried to talk to me but I never answered or looked at him. 

The front door opens, and Damon and Elena walk in. Elena calls for Stefan and lets her know that he is in the kitchen. As Elena made her way to the kitchen, she sped up when she was to pass me to get to the kitchen. I don't move, I pretend to read my book. 

Damon hasn't moved since he walked through the door. He slowly made his way over to the couch that was to my right, which had my back facing to it. I could hear Stefan and Elena talking in the background as I continued to read the book in my lap. 

Damon was about to speak up when Stefan stepped into the room. "Damon, could you help me in the kitchen real quick?" They step out of the room and into the kitchen. I quietly put my book on the coffee table and walked to the door that led to the balcony. I slightly opened the door open, enough for me to fit through. 

The sky was covered in a grey sheet, and rain falling. The weather is perfect weather to staying home, reading a book, or watching a movie. "Wanna drink"

I slightly turn my head to see Damon standing not far behind me. I turn back around hoping he'll understand that I want to be alone. He takes a couple of steps, so that his next to me. He pushes the glass towards me, as he sips his bourbon. I keep my eyes forward and keep a blank expression. 

We stand for a few minutes in silence, the sound of rain hitting the concrete fills the silence. A hand suddenly covers mine, I'm met with dark green eyes staring back at me. I go to move my hand away, but Stefan grips my hand. 

" Leave me alone. I want to be alone." I turned my head back so that I was facing forward.  Damon hasn't moved and has untouched the glass he had offered me. "Let us help you" Stefan's soft voice fills the silence. 

" I don't need help, so leave"

"Really? Cause six hours ago you were about to kill your brother. It's ok, we're here for you." Stefan places his free hand on the back of my shoulder and pulls me to him. I push him away making him have to take a couple of steps back. 

"Stefan! Leave!"

"No, I'm staying. I don't care what you think, you need to grieve."

"For fuck sake Stefan! I don't need your help! I never did and I never will! I don't need you! You're so goddamn clingy! I'm not some lost puppy! I can deal with my problems, how about you leave that'll be one less problem." I screamed at Stefan, my eyes had changed yellow from the anger, I needed to leave and to be alone.  I turn around, grab the glass out of  Damon's hand, chug it down, and walk away. 

~

I was sitting on the ground next to a stream of water, the sky was covered in orange, pink, and red colors. I don't know how long it's been since I left the compound. So many things are running through my mind, and I don't know how to go about them.

 I still don't know what to do about Elijah, I want to make him feel the pain I am but then I would be just as bad as he is. I just wanted us to be the family, that we never could be, cause of Mikeal. I thought I would always have Elijah on my back when it came to getting the family together, but I guess I was wrong. 

And then there is Stefan, who is so sweet, kind, and loving but I'm not someone he needs. He needs someone who will support him and cheer him on. All I do is bring people down, everyone I talk to or know is usually getting killed by my enemies. I could never live with myself if Stefan died because of me, and neither would Damon.

I've been letting my guard down, and I need to go back up. I need to get my emotions back in control, and my life back together. And there's only one place that will help me do that. New York.