Dealing in the Matters of the Wolves

Ceremony Part 2

     When I woke up, I was on the couch, as close to the stage as possible. Mason was sitting opposite my head, my feet on his lap. As he traced circles on the top of my foot with his thumb absently, I tried to sit up. His hand was off my foot in an instant, and before I could blink he was next to my head.

     "Stop, Caroline. Don't try to move. You need your energy."

     I turned my head toward him, and winced. "What happened?" I asked breathlessly.

     "You passed out. What all do you remember from before? And be careful what all you reveal, there are others who haven't left our sides."

    Everything came back in a flurry of images, each one passing to the next to fast to focus on. I saw bits and pieces as the images came together. "I remember... meeting you just outside of town, and telling you my life story." I laughed at the faces i got from around the room, and regretted it instantly. Everything hurt, and just breathing was becoming an effort. My words came in short breaths. "Then i was here, and..." The world was fading in and out of focus. "Mason..." I fell of the couch, and i felt him catch me just in time. Everything went black for the second time. 

     The next time I woke up, Mason and I were in the same position as the last time, me on the couch and him sitting under me, my feet in his lap. I stayed quiet, taking in the sight before me. I noticed the way the sunlight hit his hair and made him look even better than usual, if that was possible. The concern in his eyes was obvious in his pained expression, and I realized how much my heart rate had increased. I took a deep breath, snapping him out of his daze. I felt a smile spread across my face, and he smiled back at me, adoration in his eyes. How could he adore a freak like me? I must be imagining it.

    "You're awake. I told the others to go home, but couldn't make myself leave you to wake up alone." My heart rate increased. Maybe I wasn't imagining that look in his eyes after all... I flushed.

     "You didn't have to do that. Especially not for a freak like me." I turned my head, hoping he wouldn't see the red on my face caused by his words. I couldn't make him be with me, no matter how much I wanted him to want me. I didn't deserve him. He was an alpha. I was a freak. It wouldn't work. He had to be with somebody of his own kind. You are his kind, a small voice reminded me. 

    I hadn't noticed, but he had gotten out from under my feet, and was moving them, making me sit up. I did, my kept my face away from him as I argued inwardly with myself. He  sat beside me, gently grabbing my chin,and turned my head towards him. The passion and desire in his eyes kicked up a notch, along with my heart rate. 

     "Yes, I did." He chuckled. "You really don't see it, do you?" I took a breath, but it was shaky with anticipation. 

    Another breath. "See what?" 

   "That I love you."

    I swallowed the sadness that was in my throat. I felt my heart break as I said my next words. "You can't love me." I could have sworn that he could see the hurt in my eyes, and the pain that the words had cut me deeper than any knife could have. 

    
    "And why not?"

     Before I could stop it, i felt a tear roll down my face. "Because I'm a freak. You're an alpha, you can't date a half breed like me. It wouldn't make any sense. "

     "A freak? Half breed? Why would you think that?" I opened my mouth to tell him, but no sound came out. The passion in his eyes was too much to handle, but at the same it wasn't. "And, it doesn't have to make sense. Nothing worth fighting for ever really makes sense at first. Me being an alpha doesn't make me less able to love somebody." He wiped  tear from my face. His voice lowered to a whisper. "I love you. I said it. I can't take that back. I won't take it back. Not now, not in a year, not ever." It was then that it took into full effect that his lips were only inches away. I loved him too, and I couldn't deny it. But did I really want to?