Perhaps Another Time, Severus [A Severus Snape Fanfiction]

2000

2000
Shaylah and Severus stood facing each other in the dim light of the abandoned house. She took a deep breath and braced herself, they had been practicing for several weeks and she had improved but not at the pace they had hoped. He intimidated her and when he became frustrated, it sucked the willingness to participate out of her. Severus had seen everything by this point. She struggled and did her best but the most vulnerable parts of her had been laid out in front of him. He never asked questions about what it was he found, he left any explanations to her.

"Are you ready?" He asked. His arm was outstretched and waiting. "Remember to close your mind, you can do this."

She nodded and focused. She drew in a deep breath between her teeth. "I'm ready."

"Legilimens!" That uneasy feeling ran through her, from the tips of her fingers through to her toes. Though it was her mind he was toying with, the effects coursed through her whole body. He quickly withdrew and lowered his wand. "You didn't stop me at all."

"I know." She huffed. "I can't seem to focus hard enough."

"You're improving. Look, what is something that brings you great joy that you can focus on, almost like casting a patronus." He asked as he walked closer to her.

She thought for a moment, pulling memories from the furthest depths of her mind. "I suppose when I got my wand. My father was so proud and he spent the day teaching me small charms."

She saw the softness in Severus' eyes at her admission. "Think of that and focus your energy on it but keep it secret, it's something you don't want me to know. It's precious." She furrowed her brow and nodded. He placed a hand on her shoulder before turning and distancing himself again.

She lifted each foot and planted it again on the dark green rug that covered the floor. She dug the toes of her boots in as if it were dirt. She thought of her father and the day they had spent together. She pulled the details of the day from the files so exceptionally organized in her mind. She could remember the warm sun and the shape of the three wands she had tried before hers. The laugh her father let out when the first wand erupted in a flurry of sparks. She waited for the uneasy feeling but it never came.

"Again!" Severus shouted.

"Again?" She questioned.

"Yes, you successfully blocked me but I want to try again."

She felt the shock take over her features. She hadn't even heard him speak. She was unaware he had already attempted it. She didn't question him a second time, she simply went back into the memory. Her father stood behind her as she attempted to unlock the door of their home, he whispered encouraging sentiments into her ear each time she failed urging her to continue. When she succeeded and the tiny noise of the latch clicking met their ears, they both leapt with joy.

"That was a vast improvement." Severus' voice once again pulled her from the memory. "Two successful attempts."

She let out a heavy sigh. "So do we try again?"

"No, I think you've got that part down, however now we need to close everything off. Build a fortress, if you will." He made his way to the sofa and took a seat, pouring two glasses of firewhiskey. She joined him and sat in the small chair to his left, picking up the glass he slid toward her and taking a drink. She no longer feared that it might be poisoned.

"Severus, are you sure this is the best idea? I'm not nearly as skilled as you, what if I-" He cut her off.

"You are more than capable. You just have to stop doubting yourself."

She savored the compliment as they were rare. She watched as he swished the liquor around in his glass. His eyes were much darker than the liquid within it. She still hadn't told the Order about their meetings, she simply told them she was following Severus and she would return with information. The Order had amassed more members in the previous weeks, thanks to anonymous letters that Severus himself had sent after thoroughly investigating the witch or wizard. No one but the two of them knew where the letters were coming from and neither would disclose that information.

They had a healer now who was practiced in the Dark Arts. She was more than prepared to deal with wounds like the ones that had taken Cross. She had proved invaluable when Brawn was hit with a backfired spell. The healer, Prix, was unfamiliar with the spell but she was able to save Brawn's life all the same.

The cells of Azkaban had begun to fill but they were no closer to the inner circle. No closer to Voldemort. The meeting Severus had told Shaylah about weeks before had been moved at the last second on Voldemort's orders, so Malfoy Manor stood empty when the group arrived.

She had taken his advice and suggested they move their Headquarters to accommodate their growing numbers and because there were whispers that Severus was close to finding them. They had taken up residence in an abandoned shack that Vex had grown up near. The outside was enchanted to look like a cozy home and the enchantments that protected it were the strongest Vex could conjure. He had even created one of his own for the occasion.

She wasn't quite sure how she had found herself here, enjoying the company of a man she had set out to kill. He still had never admitted to being in Hogsmeade the day those three followers had miraculously died, but she knew it was him and the pieces had begun to fall into place the night she confronted him.

"Focus." Said Severus, and without a second thought she did. She pictured the wand in her hand, the vibration of the dragon heartstring core running through her fingers. The look Mr. Ollivander had given her as she thrust it toward the ceiling as if she had been victorious in battle. Her hair falling over her face with the motion. "Excellent." She heard Severus say and a small smile grew across his face. "Now, just for practice, I want you to envision a wall around all of your greatest memories, yourself really. Your whole being."

She closed her eyes and tried her best to envision what he had described. She saw a bright light, the energy of who she was. Bright and happy. "Alright."

"Now, just like the precious memory of your father, I want you to hide that in a box."

She did just that, forcing the bright ball of light that was her essence down into a large trunk much like the one she had at Bextroll's that stored all of her belongings. "Alright."

"Now, put a wall between that box and anyone who might try to access it."

She envisioned the stone wall of a fortress and built it brick by brick in her mind. The stones were thick and textured, no one could get to her precious treasure without strong weaponry. "Alright."

"Now, Shay, build yourself a new being. You share all the same visions as the Dark Lord. You are a Death Eater."

She shuttered under the words. She felt her stomach clench at the thought but she pushed it down. She took great care in sorting the ideology into this new version of herself. "Alright."

"Open your eyes." She did and she found Severus leaning closer to her, his eyes boring into hers. They bounced back and forth as if reading the words in a book. She stiffened under his intense gaze but didn't let her thoughts wander. She kept the trunk safely secured behind the wall, its beloved contents kept away from everyone but her. "Interesting." He said as he backed away from her, picking up his glass and taking a large swig.

"I did everything you said." She mumbled, expecting to hear that he had easily torn down her carefully built defenses.

"That you did," His voice was silky and there was no undertone of irritation. "And you did exceptionally well."

Her eyebrows shot up and her stomach flipped as she drank the last of the whiskey in her glass. She found herself wrapping her arms around his neck, the excitement too much to contain. She felt him stiffen beneath her and she had realized what she had done, but then his arms snaked their way around her back and he returned her sentiment. When they parted she ran her fingers through his hair and his face seemed to follow her touch. She hadn't meant for that to happen, the emotion simply overtook her.

"I'm sorry." Shay said as she returned to the chair she had leapt from.

"No, it was-" He never finished his thought. He simply swallowed the contents of his glass and bid her goodnight.