I regret it..

Party

"It was delivered a few hours prior my lady, it was a hassle to get it past lord Edward"

"i see" i said not meeting her eyes, still i couldnt believe my eyes, Ciel was turning 16 December 14th, which was in 2 days.

I can't believe even through all this grieving i forgot his birthday, i was still puzzled on why he wanted to celebrate it. Why now? Why not last year? Or the year before that?

Suddenly i got snapped back to reality by Paula's voice.

"My lady, you do not need to go if you dont please to do so"

i looked down due to shame, it really was clear how badly this all effected me, but maybe he invited me for a reason. Ciel was never the type to do something with no reasoning or joke around. Maybe this meant something, if i had said that out loud

people would call me crazy and delusional, but something in told me, encouraged me to believe it.

"I'll be going, please get a dress ready for December the 14th"

time skip because idk how to transition from this

it was the day of the birthday celebration, i was sitting at my desk looking at my reflection applying my makeup waiting for Paula to do my hair. I apply my powder and blush even though my skin was pretty fair which meant natural blush would appear either way, after applying a tinted lip gloss paula came in asking me if i was sure about this. To be fairly honest i didnt know if i was or not 

When my family received the news they were shocked too saying it would be better if i didnt go, Edward was completely pissed how

"So now he suddenly wants her to show up?" he had gone on about a whole rant how it was completely out of question before my mother dismissed him.

"Shes old enough to make her own decisions Edward" my brother held high respect for my mother so he quietened down soon after.

I was wearing my hair in my usual drills and a pink dress with long white sleeves and puffs paired with blue ribbons and a hat with the same color pallet, with off-white gloves and earings. Paula said it really brought out my green eyes and when i looked in the mirror a small smile appeared on my face.

I haven't looked like this in some time, i looked like myself, like i recognized the person in front of me.

When Paula was done touching up my hair we made way our way out.

I sat by the window of the carriage, mesmerized by the enchanting winter scene outside. The snow is falling gracefully casting a beautiful white blanket over the landscape. It's as if the heavens themselves are celebrating his birthday.

"Lady Elizabeth, look how the snow enhances everything, it's beautiful, must mean it will be a magical night"

she didnt realize how ignorant that sounded in the given context but i wasnt angered by it

"I hope so" i said clenching my dress which she noticed. "Your icy blue ribbons ribbons will certainly complement the winter scenery perfectly" The carriage seems like a cocoon of warmth against the cold.

Since i didnt set much foot outside any more i had forgetting the drastic change of temperature

Another time skip

Even though the weather was a beautiful sight it did have an impact on our way there making it take a bit longer then usual but nothing extreme, I step delicately onto the snowy courtyard, wrapped in a fur-lined cloak. Being very careful since i didnt know if the public knew i would be present and attending the celebration. The weather was chilly, and the air was crispy but in some way it felt comforting, before walking in with Paula by my side. 

The grand manor stands tall and imposing against the winter night, its windows aglow with warm light. A carpet of snow blankets the courtyard as a carriage, then my thinking comes to an graceful stop. The door opens, and I step out into the crisp winter air.

When entering i got blinded by the amount of light i got hit with, and hundreds of faces of most i hadn't seen before. 

I saw people with beautiful ball gowns in every color i could imagine, the finest silks and neatest gloves. Women with bold and audacious yet alluring hairstyles.

They looked absolutely admirable

In the front of the manor there was a musical band playing with a woman in a bright red dress as the main singer, and a pianist and violist behind her. She sounded completely ethereal. 

Her voice is so sweet and smooth, hitting high and low notes effortlessly. You can hear every word so clearly, and it feels like a warm hug for your ears.

Her singing is just beautiful. When she sings, it's like a perfect painting made with music, it was obvious by the signals i was getting and due to basic observation this was an high quality party.

I was absolutely hypnotized by the performance forgetting i had hoped to get a glance of Ciel

"They sound amazing dont they?" someone from my right ear spoke, I looked up to be met with  a set of icy blue eyes looking my way, He was taller then me and based on the looks of it he must be around my age

"Oh my apologies, i haven't introduced myself, Alois Trancy, it's a pleasure to meet you" he said putting his hand out to shake mine. "Elizabeth Midford.. " i wasnt sure it was appropriate to talk to a man at my ex-fiances birthday celebration

"What a beautiful name for a beautiful lady" he said planting a kiss on my forehand, i felt my face heat up a bit. I pulled my hand back when i felt people eyeing us and whispering to one another. "Im sorry" i said caressing the hand he had kissed moments prior.

"It's no problem no need to apologize, are you alone here by any chance?" i nodded in a response. "Well, Lady Midford may I have the pleasure of this dance?" before i could respond to his proposal he clutched my hand pulling me onto the dance floor.

I could feel myself becoming a hundred different shades of pink "Now isn't this fun Lady Midford" he said carefree while spinning me around while the band was still performing between a couple dozen people dancing with their partners.

Ciels pov 

She was beautiful, how her curls floated in the breeze. Her endearing face was admirable. The way she laughed, wanted me to just hold her forever. She was all i wanted and was all mine, well at least she was.

It had been a couple of months since i called off our engagement and the pain in my heart has been worsening each day but i had my reasons for what i did, it was to protect her, and if that means having to let her go then i will.

I was observing the celebration from the stairs where no one would be able to see me, in all honesty i didnt like to celebrate my birthday nor did i care for it, but it was the only excuse to be able to see her again, i admired her the whole night from the moment she stepped foot into the manor up until she excitedly listened to the musical band. Im not a big fan of music or dancing but i know she enjoys that type of stuff so i arranged it for her. The pain in my heart had left until i saw that pathetic loser fool alois trancy.

He was a weird figure, He had invited me over for tea once in his manor, thinking he wanted to seal a contract for business i went only for him to be a big man child and a pretty odd individual . If it was up to me, i would've cut ties with the bastard but it seemed like each time he purposefully tried to come back into my life.

I wanted to say i wasnt jealous but i was. Very

A/N

HEYYY it's been so long since i updated this story and i apologize for that, i had exams and i finally have weekend, this chapter was incredibly hard to write but i hope you all enjoy it, im planning on publishing the nex chapter tmr :)