Te trouver (Paranormal Romance)

Chapter 1 : Katy

Twenty-eight years later ...

There are mornings when you barely get up you know it's going to be a day without. We find ourselves ugly, fat and without any interest. This kind of thinking has become my routine since I broke up with Dan. I must specify right away that Dan, the great love of my life, openly cheated on me for several weeks before I discovered the rose garden. And when I caught him riding a shovel to a bitch in the middle of the street and my fist accidentally hit his eye with all my might, he put me lower than the ground. In short, I'm a piece of shit that no man will ever want ! I think I would have been able to do her second eye makeup if Tessa, my best friend, hadn't pushed me away against my will. Yet three years of love cannot be erased like that, by insults in the middle of a street, if ? Guys really have a problem, especially Dan.

This scene took place six months ago and since then I have been depressed by gorging myself on chocolate and other bad food that comes to hand while watching TV. I know, I'm pathetic... but since in the eyes of the man I loved the most in the world, I'm just a shit as much to prove him right until the end. OK, I used to have a bulge on my stomach and now I have two, so what ? I am not interested in any man and no one interests me either ...

At thirty-four my life is a field of ruin and I really don't have the will to rebuild anything anymore.

Men have become my enemies, I run away from them as much as possible.

My reflection in the bathroom mirror sends back my empty, sad blue eyes. My makeup is a little stronger than before in order to hide the dark circles that the lack of sleep and my tears have caused. My blonde hair could use a good cut, but even for that, I don't want it anymore.

When I met Dan at the bar where I worked at the time, I was always well dressed. I liked to take care of myself. He had come one evening for a drink with his friends, it was love at first sight. They were all seated around a small table but I could only see him. How could we resist this tall brunette, athletic build, brown eyes, his mischievous little smile as soon as our eyes met and his lips which seemed to call me to kiss them ?

As I was behind the bar preparing an order, he had approached alone.

– Hi, I'm Dan, he told me, holding out a hand that I squeezed briefly.

– Katy.

I couldn't help but blush.

– I was wondering if you would agree to have a drink with me when you finish your shift ?

I was so amazed that I almost forgot to answer. It was common for customers to hit on me but for the most part they were regulars who didn't appeal to me in the slightest.

– I... I would like to but... I still have one hour.

Dan's smile had widened and without the slightest hesitation he replied:

– I've been waiting for you all my life, I can still wait an hour.

This time, my jaw dropped in shock which made him laugh.

The next three years were the best of my life... until his betrayal.

I enter my favorite cafe the Run and orders me a latte smoothie and blueberry muffin to go.

– Stop looking at me like that, I know I'm a poor girl, I whisper to my little dog Guyzmo who is staring at me while a saleswoman prepares my order.

Guyz, at the height of his four years, seems to read me. He has the snarling and possessive character of the Jack Russell, a breed he is crossed. He is above all the only good thing that has remained with me from these last happy years and the first that I took with me as soon as I left Dan's apartment. He is my dog even though we had bought him together, my ex never took care of him and it was reciprocated. Come to think of it, I should have been wary realizing that Dan didn't give a damn about the existence of a dog, it should have allowed me to see what kind of man he is. Never trust a guy who cares more about his clothes than an animal. When we were in an abandoned animal shelter, I immediately fell in love with this little ball of black fur and his white bib, Guyzmo was then six months old.

We come out of the cafe and go around the neighboring park, like every day. While my dog is sniffing the grass, I quickly have my breakfast.

Joe, the old man who seems to have been screwed to his bench for ages, waves to me, to which I respond with a discreet nod of the head and a small smile. I like it, it is not painful. He never comes to talk to me, just greeting me day after day.

Once back at my apartment, my dog settles down on the sofa. I grab my keys by throwing:

– See you later Guyguyz !

It's time for me to go take my service at the restaurant where I work every lunchtime, which leaves me the rest of my days available to devote myself to my great passion: writing.

How I would like to be able to write a novel for which the editors would fight which would finally allow me to realize my dream: to leave Cheyenne (where I have too many memories) to go and live in New York where I dream of merging into the city, totally incognito !

I love this city where I was born and which I have never left but since my breakup, every street gives me the impression of seeing happy moments that are forever lost. I often have the feeling of suffocation when I meet these familiar faces that look at me with a touch of pity. Unfortunately for me when you are a child of Cheyenne, everyone knows you at least by sight and my argument with my ex in the middle of the street was played out for all to see. After that, I stayed two weeks locked up with Tessa before daring to come out in the open to find myself a place to live. The only luck I had in this story was that Dan quickly moved to another state. Where ? I don't know and that's fine, I don't want to torture myself to find out. The further he is from me, the better I hope to be. Every day, I try to motivate myself to realize my projects but in my head Dan's voice echoes again and again: You are a shit that will never do anything with his life !