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I don't want to talk about it

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I don't want to talk about it. I just want to know if I'm stupid or just dumb as fuck. For the majority of my life, I said I wouldn't cry, let alone in front of people. But, here we are. Well, here I am, crying in front of who I consider to be strangers.

I've been so strong and in my head for these past few years that the second my twin brother showed me he knew I wasn't okay, I broke.  I've been waiting for someone like him and Lu, someone to show me that I don't have to be so headstrong all the time. 

By the time I finished crying, Lu had kicked everyone but my twin out of the room.

"You don't have to be so strong all the time princess." He grabbed my face and kissed me on the forehead.

"Unfortunately Luis, when you've grown up like I have sometimes you have no other choice."

I give them a small smile, the most I can muster up as I stand up and make my way back to my room, deciding I'd rather watch TV in peace and maybe get some work done. Matteo and Luis also decide this is what they'll do. They follow me, hot on my heels like lost puppies. God, I hope it isn't like this all the time.

I get into my room, instantly grabbing my Macbook to sort through some emails as Luis picks out what to watch. I sit in the bed, in between the two boys, I lay my back on Luis and my legs on Matteo. What? They're in my space I might as well put them to good use. They're comfy.

We sit in comfortable silence while Criminal Minds plays in the background, Matteo glued to the screen and Luis watching me answer emails.

As we were all busy in our own worlds I heard a knock on the door.

"Come in."

When no one enters I get up and open the door myself. I see Ash, Ni and Michael having a whispered argument.

"Absolutely not." I say as I slam the door in their faces.

"Come on Talia we just want to explain."

I turn back and face the door with a scowl. "Alexa, play Fuck You by Lily Allen full volume."

I get back on my bed and back into the comfortable position we were in, only I'm now being shaken as the two lads are giggling away. "What are you laughing at?"

"Mi Amor, you just used... fucking Alexa... to argue back." Luis said in between breaths I moved my head back on his chest and looked up only to see Luis looking down at me smiling. Wow, he has great eyebrows. Not too groomed but not scruffy. I wish I had his eyebrows. I wonder if he'll let me pluck th- he was talking to me. What was it he said? Oh.

"Those fuckwits aren't worth my breath, and quite frankly they should have been swallowed."

That was apparently the wrong thing to say as Luis literally folded over me laughing, I shove him off me and decide to stand up until they calm down. 

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⏰ Last updated: Oct 31 ⏰

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