19 year old Yolanda Khan is lucky to be going into her 2nd year of the college she's dreamed of: Princeton University with her twin sister. After she gets a spot in her Zoology class, Yolanda is determined and would do anything to keep her spot and...
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I decided to stay at my grandparents house for 2 extra days. After that night I cried in my grandma's arms, I never wanted to leave her side. I caused a fight with Ava, and now we're on bad terms. Not even bad, the worst terms possible. I just hate the way she is. I hate that she's the better twin. I hate that she blames me for what happened to mom and dad. I never meant for any of that to happen, and we were only 14 years old. It's like the universe punishes me because of it everyday, and I will never receive the closure I need.
Grandma sits a plate of snickerdoodle cookies in front of me, and I glare at her. "Come on grandma. You know sugar makes me more cranky." She gives me a 'stop being so stubborn,' look. "One cookie won't hurt. In fact, I put less sweetener in it because I know."
She walks back into the kitchen and pours a cup of milk for me. "Are you gonna tell him how you feel" I immediately shake my head. "Absolutely not," I say. "He's the captain of the football team, has all of the girls crushing on him, friends with the most popular guys in the college, and is dating the most beautiful girl." I think to myself for a second. I think about all the times he's told me about him wanting to be a therapist to help people with everyday life. I remember when he spoke about it and the way his face lit up as he explained the situation with his mom, how her mental health was bad and he wished that he could've helped her.
"He's never told anyone about his dreams besides me, yet I'm a secret. No one knows about us. I mean they do, but they don't know it all." Grandma shrinks cinnamon in my drink and sits it on the table before pulling a chair next to me. It's almost midnight, and we're the only ones up. Ava went to bed angry hours ago. "You wanna know what I think?" I look away from the blank wall, and at her. "That I'm stupid for thinking he actually feels the same way about a low life nerd with no friends other than Peyton?"
Her face softens. "Don't ever say that about yourself," she tells me. "You're doing good in all of your classes, have an amazing sister who's always there for you, and your dream career is almost on the way." I sigh. "Then what do you think grandma?"
"I think that you should go with the flow. You've done your part, now let him do his and decide what he wants to do." I sigh as I push a strand behind my ear. "I haven't done anything. He doesn't know anything." "But what I'm trying to say is if he wanted to leave his girlfriend, he would've done it a long time ago." I look away. Her words carve themselves into my heart. I'm about to put up a fight, but she's right, because if he wanted to he would. I stand up and kiss her cheek. I'm so tired, my eyes will close on itself before I make it to bed. Grandma doesn't say anything else. Not even about the fact that I didn't touch my cookies and milk.
"Goodnight. I think I should head out in the morning. We're having presentations in the afternoon." I walk down the hall. Our room is closed shut, so I open it as quiet as I can because I know Ava is asleep. Even though we're mad at each other, I love her so much and wish I was as good at everything like she is, and I hate myself for that. Why can't I be different? Why can't I be better? It didn't hit until a few moments that I was snuggled up under the covers, that she's gone back to school.
