I shook my head and walked away, not sure what to make of these new feelings. My stomach felt like it was going to explode, and i felt dizzy.
There was no way, i was... in love.
"Im probably just sick" I murmured to myself walking to the bathroom. Begrudgingly looking at my face, my neck red and my face hot.
My cold shaking hands reached to touch my cheek, and I recoiled in disgust the longer I looked at my face. There had to be something wrong with me. I felt sick, but how could I be sick. I hadn't done anything really.
And why did I look like that, my lips were dry and cracked, the skin peeling off at I bit them, I rolled my eyes and rinsed my face with cold water.
"I'm fine, I'm just not feeling well" I told myself, I wasn't gay. I couldn't be.
I scanned the small cramped bathroom for a moment, my eyes darting to every reflection of my own face i could see, grimacing and trying to hide my disgust in my own appearance.
I blinked and my knuckles were bleeding, broken glass from the mirror all around me. In and on the sink, some still in the mirror frame. Smaller peices lodged in my hand
"Fuck" I hissed under my breath. I watched the blood drip down my knuckles, down the length of my fingers to the fingertip and then just drip off onto the sinks porcelain structure. I grit my teeth, and put my hands under the warm water. I watched the blood rinse away and flow down the drain.
I didn't feel like cleaning this up, I went back to my room, and sat down, beginning the painful process of removing the glass.
with each peice removed my vision blurred with tears my mind wouldn't let fall, my knuckles coated in more blood, making it hard to spot the glass.
How could a be so stupid, stupid stu-
"Lt?" A small voice called in which I recognized at haze, fuck he couldn't see me like this. I looked at and looked at him.
His eyes feel into my bloodied hands and he walked closer, kneeling infront of me he took my hands and began to pull the glass out.
I tilted my head back ashamed that I required help with such a small task. What happened to me, I was a tough soldier and it was just gone.
Who am I, why am I?
I stared at haze, he seemed worried, hus hands shook as he worked. I couldn't look at him, he'd only been here a few weeks and i couldn't even look at him.
What was happening to my head, what happened to who I was, what I wanted to be..
