HEY HEY HEY LOVER

CHAPTER 1

season 3 good omens

doctor who meets good omens

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*insert good omens theme music - da dad dadsdddaddd*

aziraphale, the silly sausage, was in the elevator on his way up to heaven (more like hell) and all he could think about was his kiss (well he kinda just stood there awkwardly - dumbass) with the very handsome, very gorgeous, very smexy crowley.

"no ya dirty bastard," aziraphale thought to himself, "you can't think of him as smexy (even though he is) our relationship OR LACK OF is over." Aziraphale, quite appropriately, hit himself in the head.

the elevators dinged their ding and the doors opened to reveal the harsh white, fookin long ass room that was supposedly heaven (aziraphale had always thought that it was a bit brutalistic and far too modern).

"AZIRAPHALE" a voice boomed from above.
"oh dearie me it must be god," aziraphale thought. however, like usual, he was wrong. it was not god, it was just micheal.

"oh dear here we go what do you -"
Aziraphale was interrupted by tbe strangest of sounds
"CHECSJCHESKLS"

an american angel was standing nearby proclaiming "WHAT IN TARNATION IS THAT SOUND?"

slowly, an image started to appear in front of them, instead it wasn't an image, but a telephone box?

Aziraphale gasped, "UUHHH," he would recognise that telephone box anywhere IT WAS THE TARDIS *insert tardis sounds.* (aziraphale, for quite some time now had been chronically obsessed with doctor who as he believed taht the tenth doctor had an uncanny resemblance to the gworgeous man (ethereal being?) that was crowley, but you didn't hear that from him)

the american angels voices boomed across again "GET THE GUNS AT THE READY" (there were no guns in heaven, this angel had obviously spent too much time in tbe southern dregs of the supposed land of tbe free)

"NO," spoke aziraphale "we are not in danger, this is the doctor"

"THE DOCTEEEER?" the annoyingly loud american angle questioned

"yes, the doctor"

"the doctor who?"

"WELL THATAD BE ME" an unfairly handsome, hair way too tall that its cut off at the top of screen and lanky as fook male (or not because he's a time lord so i don't even know how taht works) stepped out of the tardis.

aziraphale, rightly so, stared at him because the mans was gorgeous (hit me up for tennant and sheen edits) and he hadn't expected the tenth doctor to arrive, cause they were up to like doctor 15, 16 now??? cant keep up)

"AHHAHAHHAAAHHHH" the fookin annoying american angel screamed, but the doctor ignored him and turned his head to stare straight at aziraphale.

aziraphale blushed like a fool, (aziraphale shared the view that rose and the tenth doctor DID NOT MATCH, aziraphales only redeeming characteristic)

then, UNEXPECTEDLY, a look of PURE ANGER AND FURY took ahold of the gorgeous doctors face, making him even more gorgeous.

"NOW," the doctor yelled, "YA DUMB BASTARD PULL YA HEAD OUT OF YA ASS AND GET BACK TO THAT DEVILISHLY (see what i did there) HANDSOME CROWLEY CAUSE I KNOW THE TWO OF YOU ARE HEAD OVER HEELS IN LOVE BUT YOU MY FRIEND ARE IN COMPLETE DENIAL."

a heavy silence blanketed the room, tbe sounds of someone shitting able to be heard from the distance.

"oh," aziraphale said, looking down and trying to block out the sounds of someone shitting, cause really he didn't need to hear that.

but before aziraphale could look back up he heard the sound again SHDOKESHSHSHSHCCHSH *tardis sounds*, the absolute hunk of spunk (kath and kim reference) taht was the doctor, had left.

"aziraphale you tell me rig-" but before michael could finish the sentence aziraphale rushed back to the elevator (mind you which was barely two metres away as they had barely walked in) and smashed the down button.

crowley (😫🫠🤭🥵) had somehow made his way back to aziraphales book shop (the stupid bentley had somehow taken him there and had refused to drive anywhere else), but before he could mope any further and ruin his beautiful turtleneck (i have a great edit of him in that turtleneck 😮‍💨) he caught a glimpse of a white shock of blond hair.

"CROWEY I LOVE YOU AND IM SO SORRY" aziraphale came rushing towards him as fast as he could (which was not very fast at all, 6000 years on earth does take a toll on the old bones).

aziraphale met crowleys body with one great thunk, that on a seismograph would count as a 1.6 magnitude earthquake.

they looked deeply into each others eyes (or as deeply as they could cause crowley still had his stupid glasses on - but they're hot so aziraphale can't complain too much).

aziraphale slowly removed crowleys glasses.

"i love you too", crowley whispered back, and they embraced in a passionate but conservative kiss (i have never kissed anyone, i have no reference for kissing except from the bachelor which is the last thing i watched, but they tend to eat each others faces a lot and i don't really wanna write about that).

they ate each others faces

two weeks later

aziraphale and crowley had bought a cosy little cottage in the beautiful country of the english country side (i want to go there), and everyday they kissed and ate lots of yummy food, and crowley would sexily water the plants and aziraphale would read his books AND HEAVEN AND HELL WOULD BEVER INTERFERE EVER. and they lived happily ever after.

the end