Gracie Abrams is eking out a solitary existence, fighting day-in, day-out against the drain of working customer service and nursing two newborn kittens in her off time. Out on her own ever since her sister moved in with her boyfriend, the burden of...
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The crowd dimmed at the edges of my vision. My eyes locked onto the woman in the blurred-out photo from my phone. No smile tonight.
Bella the Witch wore denim—perhaps the same jacket from the picture. With her loose waves splayed all along her collar and back, she really gave off the vibe of a biker woman who shouldn't be messed with. Though she was as short as I was, she effortlessly moved through the crowd. Something about the firmness of her shoulders made her noticeable. Made others be aware.
Kakashi wrapped me in a giant bear hug, his lips resting just on the outer curve of my ear. Every breath inhaled the lavender body wash I bought him and that woodsy scent that just seemed to emanate from the man. Everywhere his breath landed caused a flurry of goosebumps to rise in response, and I wondered what I had done to be tortured like this. How could I not be used to him yet? How much longer did I need?
"I think it's best if you approach her first, and I'll be in the background," he said, each word a vibrating hum against my cheek. I nodded. Or tried to, pressed up against that beige sweater.
Kakashi released me, and it was like the world had been put on play after accidentally sticking it on pause. The yelling underneath the TVs sounded much louder than it had before. As did the music pounding the walls upstairs. All this noise...all these people...
I reminded myself to calm down, but I'm not quite sure I managed it. Fuzzy black spots danced at the edges of my vision, but I pushed past them, moving slower in an attempt to not run into people like a pinball game. I was getting tunnel vision, something I'd learned to blame on my anxiety. It wasn't good enough for my head to try to eat me alive in the dark, under the guise of quiet. No. Sometimes, when I got overwhelmed, the world took on a tilting quality, and my peripheral vision went completely black. I felt like a giant blow-up doll, dramatically turning my head this way and that just to see, my reactions delayed and expression stuck in a somewhat unsettling position.
If I didn't dislike children, I could be one of the Friends at Disney.
I waded through the people, not sure where Kakashi had run off to. It was his fault that I ended up like this. Already, my body had gotten used to him being around, shielding me from the things that made me uncomfortable. With just his existence, my mind was quelled, my anxiety tightly leashed. Well.
So much for not depending on him too much.
Bella clunked her way upstairs, not moving fast, but not dallying, either. Each stride was borne from purpose, and I had to wonder if it was just because of the boots she was wearing.
I followed, moving much slower and more disoriented. For those who've never experienced tunnel vision, they can't imagine how difficult it suddenly is to move amongst the people without any peripheral sight. Everything was just on you with no warning. I'd never been to the Wolf Den, either, so I didn't even have familiarity on my side. My hands white-knuckled the knobby, light-wood rail as I ascended above the TVs and poker players. We left the smog of cigarette smoke behind to enter a new kind of smoke, one that came from machines hidden somewhere among it all.
