Ribbon In The Wind

Ribbon In The Wind [ 1 ]

Chapter One:

Dear Luke,

Every girl always dreams of finding that perfect guy, the one who will fight for us and love us with everything they have but these guys are hard to find, their rare and if you find one we try to hold on to them tightly, because never know when they could slip away.

I didn't hold onto you tight enough, its all my fault that you lost your life that night, maybe if I just kept my mouth shut and we just walked away you might be here with me right now.

Each day goes by and you're the first thing on my mind when I wake up and the last when I fall asleep (correction) your on my mind 24/7 because I can’t escape the constant nightmares me re-living that night over and over again and each time I look for possible ways out where we both are alive but nothing every comes to mind.

I know you watch over me everyday and god I miss you with all my heart…

I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry

I love you, I love you, I love…

Love From Grace xxx

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Its been seven days since Luke’s funeral but to me it still feels like it was yesterday, I hardly talk to people, I have distended myself away from all my other friends in fear I might get them killed too. Its hard because every time they talk to me and I give them a vague look or reply hurt crosses their face, soon they will stop trying and things might become easier.

My mum thought it would be a good idea to start back at school, so I now I aimlessly walk the corridors not wanted to go to class. I’m glad no one as walked by because I’m sure they would escort me back to my class. Well shit I spoke too soon.

‘Miss Johnson is everything ok, are you lost?’

This teacher used to be my favorite but the things I once felt are gone and by this statement she is just annoying the shit out of me.

‘Yes Ms. I’m fine’ I fake enthusiasm hoping she would get the idea and leave. Nope I’m out of luck.

‘Then why are you walking the corridors with a vague zombie like look on your face, oh my there isn’t a zombie apocalypse that I don't know about and I’m about to get eaten? She laughs.

This is Ms. Jones trying to make a joke.

‘Ha ha umm no Ms. Jones, ok well I better be on my way’

I begin to walk away she gives me a look and I know she wants to say something but something about what she wants to say is holing her back and I already know it has something to do with Luke, well of course she would want to say something about him, he went to this school every one knew him. Oh please Ms. Please don't say anything I don't want to break down right here, please God don’t let her say it. Today is my day of being out of luck.

‘Oh umm Grace I just wanted to say I’m really sorry about Luke he was such a lovely boy always full of life and was always kind and thoughtful, we all miss him’

Whoop there it is the part I was dreading, I swallow down the lump that's rising in my throat, I know I should answer but all that's on my mind are memories and that yes, yes he was the most loving boy a guy full of life, a guy who had is life almost planned what he wanted to be, how he wanted to get married and start a family and I took that all away, he was kind and thoughtful he put everything else before himself and yeah everyone may miss him but surely, no definitely not as much as me. Oh right meant to be answering.

‘Thank you Ms. I miss him very much too’ I can’t help my voice cracking so I quickly walk down the corridor and once she is out of site I pick up the pace and start running, I run out the door and into the field and straight to the Willow tree that is in the school yard, I barely make it before I burst out into tears. 

Why did they have to kill him? Why did they not kill me?

I’m so sorry Luke, I’ll always be sorry.

I don’t remember falling asleep but I wake to someone tapping my shoulder, I have never seen this person before in my life so I quickly sit up and look around because it took me a while to figure out where I was. Right in the schoolyard. Good one grace nice one to fall asleep under a tree at school where everyone can see and tease you for it. Oh well I have a legitimate reason, my best friend died in front of me and anyone that would still tease a person after that is seriously f**ked in the head.

I stare up into the eyes of a guy that it looking down at me with a very concerned face, I can just imagine what I look like considering my break down earlier before but to be honest I really don't care anymore, before all this I would have cared, I use to care what people thought of me but not anymore I don't see the point I have lost everything my world shattered in front of me.

‘Umm hi can I help you’ I say to the guy like nothing is wrong.

‘Sorry it must look strange me just staring at you but I saw you lying down really still I panicked thought something happened but you woke up so I guess nothing life threatening right?’

‘Nope, nothing life threatening just casually sleeping after I had a break down actually to be honest I didn't know I fell asleep so I’m sorry but I better be going to class now. Wait why are you not in class there is no one else around and I have never seen you before so who are you exactly’

‘My name is Jason and I just started today and I’m not in class because I can’t be bothered to sit through a 50 minuet class not knowing anyone. Why did you have a break down if you don’t mind me asking’

Shit. Do I tell him the truth or do I make up some sad excuse I don't want him to feel bad for asking and being so nice, but surely he will find out sooner or later, everyone is still constantly talking about it.

I guess he better get the truth from me rather than someone else and then him realizing I had actually lied to him.

‘Ok well him you would like to know have a seat oh and before I start just wanting to tell you it isn’t a very pretty story but I’m only telling you because I don't really want to go back to class and I rather tell you myself then someone else saying it and getting it wrong. It happened about 2 weeks ago a day before my birthday, I got my best friend killed because I opened my mouth to a group of guys, but here’s the full story….’

After I explained the whole night to him I stopped talking and looked at him, he had the most pained look on his face and a little bit of me wishes I didn't tell him and actual truth I don’t even know why I did I just had this feeling like I should. Luke if this is you making me do this stuff like making friends with the new guy it's a stupid idea and you’re crazy.

Out of nowhere Jason looks at me I see a tear in his eye and he grabs in a hug. I mean lots of people have hugged me since Luke died but this was more than just a oh I’m sorry for your loss kind of hug this sort of felt like I know what your going through and I’m here for you kind of hug.

What is going on with me today? ….

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Hey everyone I hope you liked my first chapter let me know what you think, please be honest but be nice about it. This is my first time writing a book so im sorry if its not that great but it is a start :)

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