In and Out of Time

turning our nightmares to dreams

It's been a week or so of my sneaking into the palace at night and all has gone smoothly. There were a few times I thought I was going to get caught, but it was just paranoia. They never came up to my room before except for mandatory night check-ins and I'm sure they're happy they no longer have to do that.

I stretch my limbs, expecting to be in my own bed but my arm hits a solid form and I draw back. I turn my head to see the most wonderful sight and I smile. Her red hair is splayed on the pillow, slightly knotted from what I assume would be turning over in her sleep. Her chest rises and falls slowly with almost silent breaths escaping her parted lips.

We must've taken a nap that lasted a bit too long, I think. I'm not complaining, seeing her like this is a gift. I notice a weight on my torso and look down to see one of her arms resting over me. A warm feeling spreads in my chest at the sight and my gaze travels from her fingertips back to her lovely face. I can't think of any better way to start the morning.

After a few minutes of me admiring her features, she begins to stir. Her eyes open halfway and she smiles softly at me which makes me grin. Before I can utter a 'good morning' her eyes open wide in panic. She sits up abruptly and I bite back a whine that almost escapes my throat at the lack of warmth.

"We overslept" she whispers, her gaze fixed upon the wall in front of us and I hum. "I could sneak out if you want..." I reply in the same hushed tone, my heart withering at her reaction. I suppose I shouldn't have expected her to be calm about it but I'd hoped she would be happy to see me at least. I feel a sense of shame for thinking such foolish things.

"No you... you shouldn't have to do that" she mumbles, finally looking at me again. "They'll be fine, they're old enough" she mutters to herself and I assume she's referring to her daughters. I wonder what she means by her statement, I don't quite understand what they're 'old enough' for.

It's not like we've done anything wrong, we only slept too long. Did she want more? I internally chuckle at that idea, there's no way she wanted to... she doesn't see me that way. I choose to keep my silly thoughts to myself, opting instead to look at her again. She's staring back at me with a look I can't describe but I don't have time to decipher it as she averts her gaze and stands.

I already know what that means from my previous visits here; it's time for breakfast. I rise to my feet as well and we silently ready ourselves to go downstairs. Upon arriving, I follow her to the kitchen where I help her cook. I watch as she moves around graciously and I imagine her being a dancer in another life; something elegant like ballet.

Her feather-light movements and quick turns just have a musical quality. As though there's a constant presence of it in her life, her body knowing exactly what tempo to follow. The food is soon finished and as we're wrapping up on setting the table, the girls come in talking amongst themselves. They glance up and see me, stopping in their tracks and ceasing the hushed whispering.

I don't bother to look at Madonna, knowing she's probably nervous. I haven't interacted much with the girls but it seems they aren't too fond of me, for reasons I'm not sure of. As we sit, it crosses my mind; another possibility of why the redhead could be so cautious about my presence around her children.

I guess the most obvious thought should be that maybe she doesn't think I'm a good influence but that can't be the case. Instead, I'm reminded of our encounter this morning. Perhaps she doesn't want her daughters to assume something is going on between us. I have been frequenting her residence recently and that would explain a lot.

Is she ashamed of me? How could she even know I like women, I've never told her? Maybe she doesn't support it. I shake my head to clear my thoughts, not wanting to corrupt the day so early. "You look... better" one of the girls giggles as I raise my head to see who it was, I make eye contact with the oldest, Drizella.

Anastasia covers her mouth as she tries not to laugh and I take a deep, calming breath. This has been happening for a while. Every time I come over they seem to take jabs at me any chance they can get. This backhanded compliment is just one of many that I've had to hear. "Girls! Behave" Madonna says and I wave my hand dismissively.

It isn't ok but I know just how to make sure they get that point as well. Breakfast is finished and as they get up, I ask if I can speak with them. I can feel Madonna eyeing me curiously but I turn and give her a reassuring smile. Years of pretending in that house makes it easy for me to conceal my intentions and so she believes me.

She takes the dishes to the kitchen and I gesture for the girls to come with me to the sitting room. I don't want the redhead's precious ears to hear what I'm about to say. I take a deep breath, clasping my hands in front of me. "Would you spit it out? For gods sake!" Drizella scoffs, "yes, please do. We have better things to attend to" the younger groans.

I smile politely and nod, intending to give them exactly what they asked for. "Listen here, you little shits. I've endured your games for long enough but let me make myself clear. You don't know me and I don't know you. So I suggest we start again and try to get off on the right foot because trust me when I say, you do not want to get on my bad side" there's a smile on my face but my tone evokes my meaning.

Their eyes widen as they look at me and I raise my eyebrows. "Are we clear?" I ask and they nod, "I said... are. We. Clear?" I repeat to prompt of a verbal response. "Y-yes" Anastasia whispers, "yes ma'am" Drizella mumbles with her eyes fixed on the floor. Who knew all it would take was a stern talking to?

I suppose bullies with no opposition are always that way, though. When you show bravery and stand up for yourself, they're not quite sure how to react. "Hi..." I look just past the girls to see Madonna walk in and I smile. The girls turn to her and I can't see their faces but it seems to peak the ginger's interest.

"How are things going in here?" she asks and the girl's responses are quick, almost simultaneous. "Well" "swimmingly" they say and I fight to suppress a smirk. I can see the look of confusion on Madonna's face and I smile wider. "We'll be going now" Drizella ushers her sister forward, "see you later" Anastasia vaguely addresses me.

"Don't forget to make eye contact with whom you're speaking to. It's important" I state firmly and they turn to look at me, "yes ma'am" they reply in unison before scurrying off. I can no longer keep the smirk to myself, allowing it to form on my features. I look to Madonna who approaches me slowly with a blank face.

I swallow a lump in my throat, not knowing what her next words will be. "What did you say to them?" it's now I realize that I didn't really think through my little side mission. "You know what? It doesn't matter..." she says before I can reply and I expect her next command will be for me to leave but I don't move just yet.

"Whatever you said... I've never seen them act that way with anyone. Ever since their father passed—it's like—we all have had a hard time recovering. I suppose it's easier to be cruel than to accept the pain and move through it" she speaks distantly, as if she's in a faraway place, and I hang onto her every word.

She's spoken of her late husband before but only briefly in regard to memories of her past. "No one has ever been able to garner their trust since then—been good enough to earn their respect" she whispers the last portion as though it's a sin to admit. Even so, it does reach my ears and arouses an indescribable feeling.

"I-I'm not sure what to say..." I confess and she chuckles airily, her cheeks flushing a light shade of pink. "You don't have to say anything. Just—thank you" she mumbles, her gaze shyly meeting mine and I smile. "I didn't do anything, really" I giggle, "you've done more than you know" she whispers.