── [ 𝐓o 𝐁e 𝐁y 𝐘our 𝐒ide ] mika m .

V

Dec. 28th, 2023

You were hysterical, to say the least. You weren't even sure how you got here, half-sobbing, half-laughing with Mika on the other end of the line.

You were doing a drunk zatsu. It's just that you didn't stop drinking - no, you were bordering on blackout drunk by the time you ended the stream. You weren't sure why;
you simply didn't want to remember today.

It's been months since you've last talked to Nina or Mysta. Of course, they've since redebuted in vshojo, but it didn't feel the same. You haven't kept in contact, not even a single collab. It's almost like you're scared to reach out to them. You don't want to bother them with something that could connect them to NijiSanji somehow, they seem happier now.

Not to mention Mika's upcoming graduation.

It's the reason you called her, actually. To talk. You'd make the most of it if she was going to leave either way. You trusted that she wouldn't cut ties with you - but the thought of not spending enough time with her in case she does was haunting your mind.

"You're insane," Mika giggled, going silent for a moment as she wiped her tears with her hoodie's sleeve. "You know it." You responded through sniffles.

A comfortable silence fell over the two of you. Normally, you'd feel helpless and pathetic laying on your bed. Just staring at the ceiling, drunken giggling breaking the silence every now and then. But with Mika, it felt.. nice. Even if she wasn't right by your side, it felt like it.

"Y/N?" Her voice dragged you out of your thoughts, hushed and careful. "Yeah?" You slurred out, seeming just about ready to pass out. "You tired?" She remarked, dismissing what she had to say previously.

There was something about the way she talked to you. With such affection, paying attention to the little things. You wanted it every day. You needed it. To be spoiled with her kindness daily is like a blessing to you. Really, just getting to talk to her daily is more than enough for you.

Even at times like this, she's willing to talk to you. It feels like you've done it all at this point, and you're just about ready to do it all again.

Why? You've never felt like this before. This strange tightening in your stomach when her voice infiltrated your ears. This odd fluttering in your chest. The way your heart pounds whenever she playfully flirts with you - what was this feeling? Whatever it was, you never wanted to let it go. It was almost addicting.

"Y/N?~" Mika called your name again, catching your attention. "Hm? O-oh, sorry. Yeah, I'm tired." You muttered, the faintest hint of pink tinting your cheeks out of embarrassment.

The sound of her sniffling made your heart drop. Even when you were drunk, you didn't like knowing that Mika was sad. Ironically enough, your eyes were the slightest bit bloodshot from your earlier interaction with her.

"Damn, you really made me cry." Mika snickered, her voice wavering as she thought back to what had just happened. "Sorry." You muttered in response, a genuine frown tugging at the corners of your lips.

"Don't be sorry," she sniffled once more. "I needed to cry anyway." You could practically hear the way she shrugged over the phone. "Besides, I should be sorry for keeping you up 'til god knows when." Mika spoke, coming up with something random on the spot.

"Yeah, 2 a.m." You replied, specifying the time. "But I'm the one who called you anyway." You added thoughtfully. "Regardless.. I like talking to you. And I just needed to get this off my chest." You sighed.

".. right, right." Mika murmured quietly, acknowledging your words. She really didn't know how to respond. Mika wasn't exactly the best at real-talk and how to deal with it. Not with you, at least. Somebody so dear to her that she'd lose a piece of herself if you disappeared. No - what was she thinking? She had to stay strong for you. Stop crying, Mika.

"I'll miss you." You blurted out, drawling on your words in a drunken manner. "Even though you won't really be gone." A short pause.

"..Right?" You mumbled. "You won't stop talking to me? We'll keep in contact?" You felt yourself starting to tear up again. But why? Mika already said she wouldn't ever cut you out of her life, as you were important to her. No matter what, she would never leave you. Never.

But you couldn't lie - Kuro and Matara had made quite the impact on you. Deep down, you knew it was partially your fault. They weren't obligated to reach out to you.

Whatever, they're not Mika.

"I would never." She sighed. "You're making me cry again, y'know?" Mika sneered, to which a small laugh of your own escaped your lips. "Sorry, sorry," you muttered through slurred giggles.

"But, seriously. I would never want to leave you. I love you, you're one of my closest friends. If not the closest." You felt a mild grin creep up on your face. It wasn't often that you felt this appreciated by anybody.

"I love you too." You muttered absentmindedly, before letting out a sigh. "Promise that you won't leave me?" You added, staring intently at the discord tab open on your phone. A green ring flashed around Mika's profile picture on the voice chat as she sniffled once more.

"I promise."