── [ 𝐓o 𝐁e 𝐁y 𝐘our 𝐒ide ] mika m .

VI

Dec. 27th, 2023

At every opportunity you got, you raided Mika's streams with whatever amount of viewers you had at the time you were streaming. You didn't care if you had to end your stream early because of it. When it came to Mika, you didn't care about anything else. If you had to risk earning less money from twitch for the time being, then so be it. There was only one more day left, after all.

You've been trying your best to make your time with Mika time well spent, that's the only thing you've been trying to focus on. Though, it seems rather difficult for you not to worry, as per usual.

And much to your surprise, Mika noticed your efforts - not hesitating to accept them, either. It's not often that she's anything short of sarcastic with you, but recently, it's been easier for her to open up. To be honest with you, to appreciate you.

It's almost as if she'd be losing you tomorrow. Yet, you both know that's not true. At least that's what you're hoping. You couldn't bear it if she left you - you just recently started to get back on talking terms with Kuro and Matara, you simply couldn't take it.

You trust her. You trust Mika not to pour salt in the healing wound. You trust her with your heart, and so does she. She's made it clear, openly expressing her opinion on you.

You simply couldn't shake the feeling that you trust her with your life, more or less. You didn't know why you wanted to deny it. Some may call it stupid; you've known each other for less than a year. But you've come to terms with the fact. You've made your peace with it.

Mika is like an online sister to you, maybe even more. And that's alright.

Perhaps it wouldn't hurt to admit that you might be developing a small crush, but that's not something you want to tackle just yet. Especially not when it could ruin everything between you two, the tight bond you share.

Feeling a bit bored after going shopping for a handcam stream, you decide to check your phone. Twitter, Discord, Instagram, Snapchat, YouTube, Twitch, anything you could find.

Twitter - nothing interesting.
Discord - nothing new.
Instagram - nothing that catches your attention.
Snapchat - not a single notification.
YouTube - a Feilatika clip.
Twitch - Meloco's streaming.

You had to double check your YouTube tab after a moment of processing. A Feilatika clip? The video was titled 'Feilatika in their enemies to lovers era fr'. It didn't take you longer than a second to recognize which stream this was from - the drunk zatsudan. The thumbnail gave it away instantly, and the context of the title only confirmed your suspicions.

Right under it was a clip of Mika announcing her graduation. You couldn't help the way your thumb hovered over the thumbnail, trying to cover it. As much as you were completely fine with her decision, it still hurt to see. You were unsure as to why that could be. But, nowadays, you were unsure of everything regarding Mika.

The only thing you knew was that she was your closest friend. But, even then, you didn't know how deep your feelings went.

Your fingers absentmindedly swiped away the YouTube tab, and opened Discord. Mika was your top contact, as per usual.

You debated with yourself for a moment. What should your text be? Should you just greet her? Should you ask her how she's doing? Should you maybe tell her you missed her? - no, you'd come off as clingy. You don't want that, you want to make the impression that you're perfectly fine.

────

You
Yo Mikaaaa <3

────

You stared at your phone screen - at the message you'd just sent without a second thought. It looks wrong.

────

You
Yo Mikaaaa
(edited)

────

It seems a bit better, though there's still something off about it. You want to pour your heart out, if you're being honest. Tell her about all your feelings before it could possibly be too late. But you settle for a simple text. Maybe it's better to keep to yourself for now.

You don't want to ruin the progress you've made, coming to terms with Mika's graduation.