The Eden Projects (EDITING)

Chapter 24. Winged Insects.

It was in times like these that Kasper realized just how vulnerable he was. When his back was turned and his tail was tucked, when he was running away from something imagined or otherwise. He was unbreakable from the outside. You could cut him again and again, peel back his skin, burn away at his flesh, but you couldn't kill him. But sense cut deeper than any blade. Yes, common sense scorched hot like a brand and seeped like acid into the crannies of his resolve. Reason was a silver bullet. 

Reason, as he came to know, depended on the person. Two people could do the same thing for different reasons. Two men could kill other men and still fear the sword, or not at all. Whatever their reason for taking the life and Kasper had taken a lot of lives. Could a sword fear another sword? How long it had been since he last slept? Had he already forgotten the simplicity of rest? What about the clarity that came with closing his eyes, even for a brief moment. He was weary of reason and stunted in conscience.

Despite it all, it wasn't himself he was afraid for. He didn't want to hurt anyone. Reason real or not. But he needed to. His life demanded death as penance for existence. In this, he was alone.

As he always had been. 

Hope dashed on the rocks at the cavernous mountain of madness. 

Hope wasn't made for people like him. 

Hope was a fool's game. 

He was a lot of things, but a fool? Not that.

Never that.

Kasper joined the group at the vehicles in a flurry and hopped up next to Zak who waited impatiently behind the wheel of their truck. Slamming the door hard Kasper punched the dash with everything he had. Then again, and again. The plastic splintered like fresh pour glass and the drawer of the glove box snapped open, thwacking his knees. "Shit!" He  forced it closed again. It popped forward in protest and he shoved it in so hard that it crammed backwards into the body of the car like compressed bones.  

"Okay..." Zak watched the passing procession. "There's Riley, Jack-" He squinted. "-aaaand Malcolm. He's still walking. What happened? I sent him out to you like we planned... why is he still walking?"

Kasper shot him an angry glance as the truck rumbled to a start. "I didn't have a chance, Riley was there, I can't just kill her and that- Jack." This time he dug his nails into his pant legs. He was mad at himself. He had complicated things and what was worse, Jack was right about of him. 

"This is getting complicated, I bet- I bet if we try finding Ace- and we just tell him what happened, then-"

Kasper pushed his fingers through his hair in an effort to calm down. He was all adrenaline and fire. "-It's not that simple. We have no idea if he's even in the area anymore." For a moment, he thought maybe Zak was right. Maybe this was a pointless endeavor. Maybe they should turn and run. They could still leave... ditch the backpack and disappear. Kasper no longer cared if he died or not.

"Is he in the area? Why wouldn't he be?" 

Kasper didn't feel like lying. "Yeah. He's out there." 

"We always find him. Or, he'll find us eventually. He always does. If we try to connect, he will meet us halfway."

Kasper thought of the tracker he had dug out. He won't find us. "Can we just drop it for now? Please?" He felt at his chest, trying to rub away the frothing, boiling mass pinned underneath his heavy bones. "Ace made it clear we wouldn't find him. We just have to wait this out." Kasper pressed his face into his hands. "My head is killing me."

Zak looked on in momentary confusion, "Alright. Okay- okay-" then muttered incoherently.

Their plan fell apart.

Zak took notice.