I Need You (THG fanfic after mockingjay) (on hold)

Chapter One.

My name is Katniss Everdeen, I am seventeen years old, My home Is district 12 or what's left of it, I was in The Hunger Games,Twice,but I escaped,the Capitol hates me, and tortured Peeta because of it, Peeta did love me, now I'm not sure, my sister is dead and it's all my fault, everything is my fault I should be dead, I wish I was..

Holding on to her hair ribbons was the only thing keeping me sane at this moment in time. I say "her" because it hurts to say the name and I just can't manage to say anything incase I have a breakdown again. Everywhere I look I see her; in the meadows, on the street of victors village and especially in buttercup. I look at that fat stupid cat and tell him "it's a wastes of trip. She's not here" he hisses at me. Does he not understand? "She's not here. You can hiss all you like you won't find P-P Prim" at her name, he perks up. Raises his flattened ears and begins to meow hopefully. "Get out!" He dodges the pillow I through at him. "Go away! There's nothing left for you here!" I start to shake, furious with him. "She's not coming back! She's never ever coming back here again!" I grab another pillow and get to my feet to improve my aim. Out of nowhere the tears begin to pour down my cheeks." She's dead" I clutch my middle to dull the pain. Sinking down on my heels, rocking the pillow crying. "She's dead, You stupid cat. She's dead" a new sound, part crying, part singing, comes out of my body, giving voice to my despair. Buttercup begins to wail as well. No matter what I do,he won't go. He circles me, just out of reach, as wave after wave of sobs rack my body, until eventually I can just feel emptiness. But he must understand. He must know that the unthinkable has happened and to survive without her will require previously unthinkable acts. My thinking is distracted by the sound of two men's heavy breathing. And quickly turn round to see Haymitch and Peeta standing there in complete shock of what they just saw.
Peeta try's to be kind and try's to come up to me to comfort me.
Haymitch interrupts him.
I quickly escape and run to the place where I know I will be the only one there. I can see in the corner of my eyes Peeta being pulled back by Haymitch. He must know I want to be alone. I...I cried in front of them they must see how weak I am and pity me like everyone else in the district.

After spending hours at my secret place,the lake, I decide I should go back before Greasy Sae comes back. Everyday Greasy Sae comes and checks if I am ok, but she knows the truth. She tries to makes me to eat but what's the use. My mother has gone to district 4 as has Gale, Annie doesn't look at me anymore; I understand why after Finnick was gone because of what I did. This is all my fault the rebellion, the man shot in district 11, rue, Cato, Clove, marvel,Wiress, Maggs, Madge, Prim, everyone. I should have just eaten the berries and died in the arena like I should have done. None of this would have happened but I try to tell myself I did some good. I did stop Snow an his devious plans, but I shouldn't have stooped to his level.

After my uneventful day I just lie on my bed till sleep finally finds me.......................................................................................................................I don't understand I am back in the Capitol being dragged back and forth by peacekeepers. It wasn't till a voice comes into my hearing range do I realise what was happening "Miss Everdeen?" He chants repeatedly. It's not until the fifth time of hearing it do I recognise who claimed that voice...President Snow. My breathing becomes quicker, my heart rages out of my chest, my body begins shake of fear and anger. Until I see "her" in the gates to the presidents mansion "no!" I scream "no! Not again!" My lips begin to form her name and that's when the parachutes go of again! I scream and scream and rag at my hair but that does nothing! My thoughts are interrupted by 2 strong arms rap around me and comfort me.

"Shhhhh" he whispers into my ear and strokes my hair "it's not real!"
"P-P-P" I try to say his name but I can't.
"It's ok your safe." He gently kisses my head. What's going on he hates me as I never see him anymore; after what I did to him; what I did to everyone.
"I-I'm sorry" I manage to get of my mouth.
"Why?" He asks then I give him one of those looks that say you know why. He then just looked at me like everyone else does, with pity. I must have screamed to loud and he must have heard my from his house which is 25 yards from were I lay. He keeps holding me till I am calm and gets up ready to leave but I stop him with my hand on his arm and say: "Peeta will you stay with me?"
He looks taken back and I think oh no what have I done I can't do this to him it will be too hard with his flashbacks. His voice breaks my train of thought with the words I have been longing to hear for so long
"Yeah...Always"