MADMAN'S DEMISE

4

The following week was hardly bearable. It was pure torture trying to convince Brandon to get on this inconvenient ride.

Friday was worst. Having to watch him hesitate and rage out about the hatred for his father and what the hell he was supposed to do with this so-called 'bullshit plight'. I tried everything to settle him, to support him, and get him to make the right decision, and after hours of argument, tears, and skin ragging, he finally did it.
He sent a letter to the court.

Saturday and Sunday were filled with imposition and research about the trial seven years ago. I wanted to know everything about it. I needed to know about the proceedings and how everything worked out since I'd never been a part of a lawsuit before. I needed to know how I could prepare Brandon in the best possible way.
The nights were sleepless, and I had to drown myself in red wine not to completely fall into anxious overthinking and worry. Also, it was hard being without Brandon. To be unaware of how he was doing almost shattered me in half. I knew he needed me. But he needed time for reflection as well.

Monday came and went with the same frustrating impatience. Two days without me didn't seem to be enough for Brandon to think it all through and feel confident about his decision. He still didn't believe he could do it. But I knew that he could and I refused to stop telling him that.

Tuesday and Wednesday were spent the same. With me badgering Brandon, bringing up every valid reason for him to accept his father's provision and just do the one thing needed.

Lie.

Thursday arrived and one week passed since the phone call. Arthur didn't call again. But we all knew he was waiting for the same thing as the rest of us. We knew it could come any day, any hour, any minute. It almost tore Brandon apart, as did it with me. But I didn't want to show him that. I had to be the strong one who got him through this. I had to be the determined one, deciding what was the right thing to do. I needed to remind him.

To lie.

Then Friday came, and by the second of my arrival at the hospital, I was called into Dorothy's office. My heart stopped as Margret told me the chief awaited me, and without further small talk or questions, I started walking with quick feet towards the woman's office.

I sat down in front of her. My eyes wider than ever, my heartbeat ringing in my ears, thundering in my chest. The dark furnished room felt smaller than usual. The walls slowly moving and decreasing the space, making me claustrofobic. Taking a deep breath, I clenched my fists and took a step out of the anxiety haze. There was no need for this heavy concern, I persuaded myself. Dorothy held a white envelope in her hand, and her firm face nodded as she sighed and waved it in front of me.

"The retrial was approved."

The whole world stopped. My jaw dropped. My mind racing. It was done. The decision was made. Brandon was in for another hell of a journey. I was in for a life-changing matter. A chance to live a life with Brandon outside the gates of St: Nicolai. A chance to live a life without forbidden love.

The tears stung behind my eyes. I was prepared for this, still, my body couldn't seem to gather the information I just received. Dorothy waited for me to process the words before she continued to speak.

"The trial will begin in two weeks in London's High Court of Justice. You, as well as Nurse Browne, are both called as witnesses."

I closed my eyes. Of course, I would have to take part in this. It just made me more nervous knowing I would have to stand there myself and take the witness oath. But deep inside I knew it was for Brandon's advantage. I had been his treater for the past twelve months. I knew him better than anyone else in the world. I knew I would play a big part in convincing the jury that he deserved a life of freedom.

"Will you testify as well?" I asked in curiosity. I needed to know as much about this as possible.

"As head nurse, I am not allowed to testify." She explained. I should've understood that. The government was sensible about such importance. There were probably several reasons that rule was set. Financial reasons, conflict of interest, confidentiality, reputation...

"Is there something we need to do to prepare for the rising?" I asked Dorothy. Probably she had been in court many times before, watching the lawsuits of the hospital's criminal inmates and testifying for them herself back when she was a treating nurse.

"I need you to do some research on Brandon's case and previous trial. Apart from that you need to prepare him as much as you can and get him into stable condition. He needs to be strong. He has to tell the whole truth. No matter what is claimed by his father." She remarked. I nodded, refueled my lungs to settle the inner chaos, and truly prepare for this unexpected journey that was about to begin in two weeks only. Gladly, I already started with the research and knew much about the previous trial already. I just had to dig a little deeper in the case.

"Okay." I replied, assuring her of my understanding.

"I have depreciated your other patients for now. You need to be fully involved and present every minute during this ongoing process. We don't know how long it will take. It could be days, it could be weeks. You need to be there all along." Dorothy strained her eyes in mine to clarify the importance of this. And since I was already aware of the gravity, I nodded formally while keeping my lips straight. This was not a moment to share smiles. This was way too serious.

"Understood." I remarked.

"You can tell Mr. Barlowe right away. He needs all the time he can get to comprehend this."

"I will make sure and tell him today. May I ask... Ms. Schwartz, do you believe Brandon can bear this? This whole matter?" I asked the woman in concern. I knew Brandon better than Dorothy, but she had known him so much longer. She had known him since he arrived here for the first time seven years ago. She was more experienced in situations like this one, and after all, I trusted her. I trusted her expertise and seriousness. She was beyond knowledge and books. She was aware and experienced on a much higher level than most psychiatric experts in the country.

Dorothy cleared her throat and allowed a second to think.

"He has no other choice," She responded, and my heart skipped a beat in disappointment.

"But yes, Beverly, I believe he can. Mr. Barlowe is stronger now than I have ever seen him." She added. Her words made me exhale in relief, delighted with the way she expounded her answer and therefore eased my heavy worry. I knew she believed in him, that's why she'd moved him to another ward seven months ago and demanded a revised psychiatric assessment. I just had to hear her say it out loud.