The Day We Met| Quackbur/TNTDuo| Highschool AU

Why Am I The Worst?

|WARNING, This chapter includes descriptions of  self harm and thoughts of suicide|

Wilbur POV
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You know that saying, when life gives you lemons? Well I must be the lemons because everything goes wrong around me.

Random, I know, but let me give some context. I got into an argument with Tubbo, and then he told Tommy about it because he was upset, I tried to apologize but Tubbo won't speak to me now. Plus Tommy is pissed at me because I made Tubbo upset, and it's not like I feel good about it!

Oh and the worst part, they told Quackity. Now everyone is mad at me and I'm sitting outside trying to let them all calm down even though it's -8 degrees C (17 degrees F) out and I don't even own a coat.

So long story short, every time I see a car pass by I want to run out there and have it hit me. Lucky for me though, Quackity's parents aren't home and I brought my butterfly knife out with me.

I got up from my spot on the porch and went over to a spot on the side of the house where I'm covered some bushes and out of sight of the road. I slipped out my butterfly knife and pulled it out of the case, I rolled up the sleeves of my yellow sweater and looked at my knife for a few seconds.

Then with a small, twisted smile, I sliced at the skin of my arms until I watched the sweet red blood spill down my arms. My smile quickly disappeared as I heard footsteps coming around to my side of the building.

"Too light to be Quackity... too loud to be Tommy... too heavy to be Ranboo..." I muttered to myself, but there wasn't any need as I heard a voice call, "Wilbur?" it was Tubbo. I pulled down my sleeves and tucked away my butterfly knife, but Tubbo caught me with my knife out.

"Wilbur? What are you doing?" He asked me. "Uhm, Tubbo, hi" I slipped my knife into my pocket. "So, I talked to Ran and they said I was overreacting, sorry" Tubbo admitted quietly and scratched the back of his neck anxiously. "Oh, don't worry about it Tubs, it's alright" I shrugged.

"Alright... so why did you have a knife...? What are you doing?" Tubbo asked. "Nothing" I lied. "Do you wanna come back inside...? It's cold." Tubbo offered. "Uhm... ok.." I nodded.

I followed Tubbo inside and got dizzy from the rush of warmth against my cold skin, or maybe it was from blood loss... my arm did hurt more than usual... it stung... fuck.... Before I knew what was happening, I was falling backward, passing out where I stood.

Quackity POV
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I knew Wilbur was having a bad day, but seeing him come inside and suddenly pass out, the way his eyes looked, how pale he was. No... not sick. He'd hurt himself again.

So I watched as Wilbur started falling backward, I caught him and took him up to my room. "Dumbass..." I mumbled to myself, watching over Wilbur to make sure he was ok.

When he hadn't woken up after a few minutes I got up off the bed and went to our bathroom, I grabbed disinfectant, a cloth and bandages and went back to Wilbur. I rolled up his sleeves and looked at the mess he'd made. I sighed and put the disinfectant on the cloth, starting in cleaning him up.

Wilbur POV
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I jumped awake as I felt a sting on my arm, looking around in a daze I tried to take in my surroundings, and found that I was in Quackity and I's room. Quackity was bandaging my arms... "hi... ducky..." I mumbled, knowing he was probably upset. "Wanna explain?" He asked me. I shook my head.

"Alright" Quackity gave me a small, comforting, smile. I gave him a small smile back and looked down at my lap. "Sorry.." I said, my voice barely above a whisper. "It's alright, sorry I got mad" Quackity kissed my wrist, letting me know he was done.

I laid back in bed and stared up at the ceiling, alone for a few moments. Then I felt Quackity climb up into bed next to me, I wrapped my arms around him and cuddled close. "You alright cariño?" Quackity asked me. I shook my head slightly and hid my face in Quackity's shoulder.

"And I'm guessing you don't want to talk about it?" Quackity asked gently, he ran his fingers through my hair. "Mm-m" I hummed and shook my head again, confirming his words. Quackity sighed and kissed my head "we can talk about it later then, but we need to talk about it some time" he told me.

I sighed and nodded in agreement, I didn't want to talk about it, I hate talking about it. Quackity always makes me though, and I get why I just don't like it. All I can do now is hope that he forgets or lets me push away the topic until it doesn't matter anymore.

Truth is, I didn't need to... I just wanted to and the opportunity came alone. People got mad at me so I had an excuse for when Quackity made me tell him what happened. In reality though, it wasn't because people were mad at me, it's not like I didn't care, but I could've fought off the urge. I didn't though, because I wanted to.

Obviously I'll never tell anyone that though, especially not Quackity. So instead, I'll just lay here with him quietly, cuddling close like I've wanted to all day.

Quackity wrapped his arms around me and we both laid there, in each other's arms. I yawned and nuzzled my face into the crook of Quackity's neck. "Are you ok mi amor?" Quackity asked, noticing the way I was hiding my face. I nodded and looked up at him "I'm alright... just tired" I told him quietly.

Quackity kissed my head "why don't you take a little nap then" he suggested, "you took quite the fall earlier" he added. I nodded again, "alright.." I muttered, closing my eyes, and I fell asleep almost immediately.

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A/N: If you already saw the last chapter, sorry about that, I decided to combine these so it was just one part and met my word limit. To those of you who haven't, hi! I'm sorry I wasn't posting, I had no motivation, I've got another chapter in the works so hopefully I'll be seeing you all again soon. Stay safe everyone!