It All Started In Detention

Twenty Seven

Disclaimer: this chapter contains triggering topics of sever bullying/traumatic events, self harm such as cutting, suicidal thoughts and plans, and sever depression. Proceed with caution.
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~Kenma~

Kenma was...nervous to say the least.

To be honest, he wasn't ever really planning on telling his friends this. He told them the gist of his past so they would...understand him better, and that was enough. They never pushed for more—it was hard to talk about.

Besides, there was never any reason to tell his friends the major part of his past that he left out. Or major person rather.

But now, Kuroo was...around again. And Kenma is so grateful for his friends and their help when they don't even know the real reason why. They just blindly stand by his side. And he truly loves them for this, but it doesn't seem fair.

He feels like they deserve to know.

"Hey, you don't have to tell us if you aren't ready," Akaashi says sweetly from his left, placing a gentle hand over Kenma's that were currently picking at the sown-in design of his pillow in his lap. His friends had all come over about 30 minutes ago and Kenma hadn't said a word.

He doesn't get why this is so hard and he hates how understanding his friends are being right now. A part of him wishes they were demanding he tell them everything.

He's grateful they aren't.

"We understand, okay? Don't push yourself." Suga says across from him, drawing Kenma's eyes to be met with a calming smile. He sighs and looks back at the pillow.

They are all sitting in a circle under a small fort they put together in Kenma's room. It was comfy. Safe. Yet still...

"Seriously Ken. If you aren't ready just say so, we can play Mario Kart or something instead." Kenma relaxes a little, squeezing Akaashi's hand before looking up and around at all his friends who are sitting there patiently with warm smiles. Kenma lets out a shaky sigh.

"It's not that I'm not ready." He starts, eyes scanning between each friend. "It's just...hard...to talk about." His eyes land on Atsumu as he says this and Atsumu flashes an encouraging look.

Telling Atsumu hadn't been too bad. But that situation was so different. Kenma was telling Atsumu for Atsumu's sake. To help him. This wasn't like that. "Kenma, 's okay. 'S intense stuff ta talk 'bout. Don' worry if ya ain't ready." Kenma relaxes, looking into Atsumu's eyes.

"You can always stop if it gets to be too much," Suna adds from his right.

He's not sure exactly what he's afraid of. Judgment? Or just having to talk about it all?

He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes.

They are right. Just...talk. And if he needs to stop...if it becomes too much to—painful. He can stop.

Just...tell them the truth.

He takes another deep breath and looks back down at his hands, one picking at the pillow and the other holding Akaashi's hand tightly.

Breathe. Talk.

You got this.

"I met Kuroo when I was born." He finally starts, eyes on the pillow for now as Akaashi gently and encouragingly squeezes his hand. "He lived next door to me and our moms were relatively friends so when I was born, Kuroo's mom brought him over to meet me and...from there we became inseparable." He gulps and closes his eyes for a moment. "We grew up together...no matter what he was always by my side. Even if I didn't want him there he still was...dragging me outside to play, or joining me in my room to play video games...it didn't really matter what it was, we were almost always together. He was my best friend...my only friend." He lets out a shaky breath and looks up at his friends, all keeping calm expressions but he can see some surprise in them, which makes sense considering until recently he claimed he'd never met Kuroo before.