[TSN/EM] Paradise Lost

02

Think of it as a branding exercise, where both parties have their hidden motives and opposing political beliefs, however, the "straight gate" unites them—the gateway to the esteemed social scene. Mark found his valid reason to enter the 'gate', Eduardo is a year older than Mark, and he has higher social standards and social needs. Mark gains his entry ticket through the "gate" by playing the role of Eduardo's partner. In turn, Eduardo got his share of benefits for more favorable commentary, which allows him to enter some more minority circles in a more affable manner (he's too orthodox yet not orthodox enough, and so he needs Mark in his seemingly flawless life as both evidence and imperfection, but in the meanwhile, Mark must also offer values). Capitalism's superiority lies in purposeful expansion, they would never be satisfied, and now he is yet another of the new uncrowned kings of the social network.

Mark's first party in Phoenix was the end-of-semester party, It was a clean, snowy night. He'd spent half an hour in the hall, drowning in waves of disappointment and unease, for which he was of course prepared. Still, the tingling sensation, accompanied by the brightening champagne towers, which were glowing like the Star of Bethlehem in the bright light in a vertiginous ripple, drove him to find an excuse to seek solace through the narrow corridor leading to the backyard. The backyard was silent and deserted, and the cold breeze of the open air steadied him gently. It took only half an hour for him to realize that his ambition was doomed to failure and that he would continue to be perceived as one until he discovered a more suitable and modern means of self-expression. Mark remained unnoticed during the entire party while he sat in the corridor, until Eduardo began searching for him, playfully calling out Mark's name as if he were calling for a baby calf. People laughed. Of course, Eduardo could have easily located Mark if he wanted to, as there were limited places Mark could have wandered off to, and Eduardo was the only person, and his only friend, who knew what Mark wanted. Eduardo was half-drunk. He tenderly stroked the back of Mark's neck in a way he teased his cat. Mark ignored him, he was in a mix of frustration and tranquility, his head hanging low under the moonlight. He had just completed a chapter of Riptide with his scribbled handwriting. The moonlight had long quelled his anger, he was now inspired, cherishing the protagonist of his work just as he cherished himself and grieving the protagonist of his work as if he was grieving himself.

A detective stranded in modern nihilism, stranded in love, freedom, and rock and roll. Everyone loves freedom. The youths were trying their best to live their lives like Ginsberg, tossing around their emotional extremes of love and hate like a ball game, then pouring them onto paper and imagining themselves as modern-day Hemingways or Fitzgeralds. Everyone was living their dramatic lives as if they were overdosed, eventually ending up in suicide or homicide, never finding their lasting solace. You cannot crave them all, you shall not have it all, you cannot be both his closest friend and lover, you cannot fulfill my desires.

Eduardo ignored that question, What do you need? He didn't ask it out loud, he didn't even sigh. The night is pleasant and usual as it is. Mark was long accustomed to such cold, as he usually ran through the school building in shorts even on snowy days. Eduardo, in the meantime, is content to savor the peace while replaying earlier social warmth in the cold. He greeted a few guests, shared his market expertise, and had discussions about literature, the poets of the esteemed American Varsity Circle, and, inevitably, Mark.

"He's a genius, he wrote a detective novel. Eduardo explained, "He's always had his sights set on joining the Phoenix Club, it's the FINAL CLUB, and only the brightest minds are needed. And let me tell you, Mark would undoubtedly be the standout among them all. He's truly exceptional." Eduardo's words were filled with genuine pride, but where is Mark? "He's different, you know, not just in terms of his talent but also his personality." He explained it with affection.

Now, Eduardo tries to share this warmth with Mark, as he believes Mark needs it, "They admire you, they believe in you, just give it a try, Mark, show them your work, you'll be famous for sure ...... even I ......" But Mark refused, avoiding Eduardo's kiss and rejecting his unreasonable demands. Eduardo didn't mind, he tenderly rested his head on Mark's shoulder. "Don't you think it's a little too cold outside?" Eduardo asked, rubbing his hands together before pressing his palms against Mark's cold knees.