[TSN/EM] Paradise Lost

03

After that party, Mark fell into melancholy, although it wasn't quite obvious in his daily life. He simply immersed himself in his writing, skipping many of his small, not-so-important lectures and dedicating his whole being to his work, he was captured in some idealized model of love, one that he should abandon in order to counter and prove himself against the realities he faced, for love had always been a theme unrelated to detective novels. Yet he didn't refuse Eduardo's invitations to the next book club meeting, end-of-month party, or Christmas gathering at the Phoenix Club. However, his participation ended there: all events eventually followed a similar pattern and ultimately fizzled out. Mark learned to rely on Eduardo only when necessary and to ignore him when needed as well. He would walk across him with his gaze fixed straight ahead, whether he was heading next to the fireplace, onto an empty staircase, to the restroom, or some cozy corner. Mark would sit down, take out his notebook and ink pen, and write, immersing himself in solitude where he could forget that his partner was Eduardo.

But it ended there. Mark refused to attend any further events after the Christmas party, though Eduardo wasn't bothered by it, he had simply fallen in love with a genius—someone recognized within a small circle yet infamous for his arrogance. Mark's presence itself was unique. When they arrived at the venue, the grand hall was illuminated by warm-colored lights, emitting a scent of sulfur. Countless crystal facets glowed like a post-catastrophe reconstruction of paradise, radiating peace and harmony. Mark, as unique as he is, suddenly felt bland upon crossing the threshold. It was as if someone had stabbed him from afar, leaving him weak, irritable, and bewildered. Mark had always despised mundane things more than Eduardo did, and in this moment and this place, Eduardo awkwardly discovered that Mark was hating himself and Eduardo like never before. Yet, why should he care? He was merely Mark's partner, or more precisely, Eduardo should be considered Mark's guardian rather than a family member. Therefore, on occasions like this, Eduardo needs to let him go, allowing him to digest his hatred and sorrow alone until he recovers enough to accept Eduardo's presence again.

The turning point came when Mark decided that this branding exercise was no longer helping him and wanted it to stop. Eduardo, however, clearly thought otherwise.

"Break up?" he exclaimed, his disbelief palpable. "You said you want a breakup? Who are you to break up with me? What makes you think you have the right to do that?" He was surprised as if he thought they were dating.

"Yes, you heard me, I want a breakup," Mark responded calmly, his voice unwavering. "You are tedious, the Phoenix Club is tiresome, and my time is getting more valuable."

"And you aren't even qualified to be a part of it," Eduardo admitted. But Mark was unfazed, merely shrugging his shoulders, "Oops!"

Eduardo had a risk investment lecture in forty minutes and desperately tried to salvage the situation with the limited time he had. "Look, I'll bring back some Chinese later, and we can talk things through, okay? Mark?"

"Whatever," was all Mark responded.

They hadn't talked things through that night. Mark ate the Chinese takeout Eduardo brought, but he refused Eduardo's attempts to talk. He wasn't snarky that night, recognizing he still needed Eduardo's help in some way. However, it angered Eduardo. As much as Mark refused to acknowledge it, it was clear he still relied on Eduardo. Yet, Mark callously brushed Eduardo aside. As his partner, as the one in need of support, as a genius hidden from the limelight, Mark's actions wounded Eduardo's pride. For Eduardo, too, possessed a sense of self-worth.

It's difficult to describe how they suddenly reached this point. As Eduardo stood on the street outside the Kirkland dormitory in the chilly night air, a distinct sensation slithered up his throat like a snake. He felt his breath tightening in excitement. He suddenly realized the social gap between himself and Mark, and the fairy tale-like melancholic fortress they manifested solely for Mark's benefit was now crumbled and altered upon the breakup---this, will be Eduardo's revenge. Nothing can stop me. I can do whatever I want. I could snap his neck, but I chose not to. Because, I'm a gentleman. Gentleman's morals, like the last surviving bullet in a shooting case, drew the boundary for Eduardo's revenge: he would salvage Mark until he truly understood the cost involved.