[TSN/EM] Paradise Lost

06

Sadly he doesn't get the results he wants.

In the early stages of his imprisonment, everything went as Mark had planned— a heart-wrenching murder (though not exaggerated to the point of being sensational) triggered a massive public outcry, spreading across the Ivy League campuses on both sides of Boston. While Mark had a minority of supporters, students, especially those from reputable schools, always held a privileged position in public opinion. "No one can tolerate being used and discarded so easily by one's beloved. Mark is a victim by emotional means, therefore he has every right to express his anger." Mark wrote three articles while in prison, publishing two under Chris's name and one cold confession that appeared in his lawyer's documents.

He didn't find the necessity to defend himself, he had been a bitch then he should as well act like one, he respects the history of his murder and he respects the history of the dead, the investigation of the case was also straightforward: it was an incident caused by a certain share of chance and necessity, and even if there was evidence that Mark had cursed Eduardo in public (*more than once*), but unless he's hitman or demon, it is an accidental incident. Despite Eduardo being namely his lover, it was evident Eduardo loved him, and he was supposed to love him back. It was love that led to this tragedy. The darkness within love was colder than death itself.

Though the truth is, while writing his confession, Mark underwent an unprecedented experience of devastation. Suddenly, he understood the meaning of death and the cruel impact it carried. He made a mistake, he was wrong: what he had done was not just revenge, he knew that more than any bystander could, but until writing his confession the concrete truth finally hit him. Literary writing itself is a form of self-deception, an outward violence that redefines acts of wrongdoing, it's more serious than pretense and mockery. Mark was deceived by Eduardo and their mutually limited understanding of the world. The coquetry charms of literature—social norms, sentimentality, hypocrisy, and self-deception—rearrange all semantically clear words in a way that diverts everything from its original intent. And like this Mark was deceived: from the beginning of the story, from the inception of hope, from the initiation of love, he continued to experience a world where countless theoretical contradictions remained unresolved. At this juncture, Mark remains out of step, he was corrected too early, to the extent that he still was the same person as when it all began—a 16 or 18-year-old child abandoned by society and fate, barred from accessing the gateway to adulthood. As Jesus saith unto the multitude, Strive to enter in at the strait gate: for I say unto you, that many shall seek to enter in at a future time, and shall not be able ......

His confession stirred up some controversy at the trial, leaving both sides' families in tears. It is undeniable that Mark was a genius and a child. Perhaps, before Eduardo's death, people were only half-believing, but after what had happened, it became an absolute certainty (partly driven by a respect for the deceased, as if being murdered by a not only brilliant but underage ascended Eduardo to heaven of American literary history) However, Mark failed to fully grasp the theoretical and practical aspects of the humanities, refusing to admit that he's not very well learned, at least not to the extent that he realistically needs to be-people quickly grow tired of him, and so do the Saverin family, "He's just a kid. We had already lost one. It's enough. Let them rest in peace." Mark was seen as paranoid, self-centered, and suprisingly stupid—a child who willingly forfeited his chance to mature, etching himself on the pillar of shame. The act of murder brought Mark notoriety, but that was it. There would never be another Eduardo for him to harm, and even if there were, it would be nothing more than a grim repetition.

Decades later, a writer came up with a new interpretation of Mark's life: he was a spontaneous instinctual realist within North American academic societies. "The climax of his reputation was during the trial, but it all came crashing down on the day Mark was jailed. He failed to secure an acquittal (which was unlikely anyway), but he did lack true experience and imagination when it came to crime. Naturally, Mark rapidly and irresistibly weakened within the confines of prison, similar as the fateful night when he first stepped into the Phoenix club alongside Eduardo. It didn't take long for his halo to fade, revealing his docile, dull dew-like eyes, as he meekly stepped into the darkness of his own life." He didn't stay long in prison, but as the media frenzy subsided, a new barrier emerged between Mark and the reality he had rejected. It was not just people who distanced themselves from him, Mark himself became disillusioned with the world outside the prison walls. Through the daily grind of his penance, he realized what he has aspired to in his life has never been anything more than an orderly encoding of his innate talents, it was a secret language attainable through learning, something in which he could decode the world's charm, in which he could create while not causing any more harm. Mark has a satiated need for control, but no one would heed his commands. He became the classicist criticized by the new school, a person resistant to the allure of addiction, ended up in the addictive solitude that existed outside mainstream conditioning. Because his mortal flesh was fragile, and it was through love with Eduardo that he first realized his fragility.

And indeed, a youthful life easily fades away, taking with it the brilliance of youthful talent.

The prologue to the novel on which Mark's story was adapted, set in a world where technology has advanced for a decade or more, almost generously portrays the most genius moment in Mark's life: "To test the unbearable lightness of being we invented the social network, to define the ideals of love we shared the other realities underneath it: sex, money, genius and betrayal. For this, we can say that all the costs are deserved. For this reason, Mark can escape from reality and choose to pursue a unique freedom defined not by history or textbooks but by our own self-defined and self-assessed costs. It's our Eden, our utopia."

Truth is far from real, yet they both hold similar meanings. Mark, a destined revolutionary figure, has already faced the retribution of fate. On that cruel summer night, he had a lover who soon would capture the world's attention. However, tonight they are still too young to break free from the confines of love, poetry, and rock and roll, whatever they lived their life scorched as if it's a fictional play. As their final farewell came, Eduardo's face paled, yet his warm, brown eyes blazed like molten iron, gripping Mark with a steadfast determination that outshines the world itself. Out of his unusual mix of pride and a thirst for vengeance, Eduardo leaves behind his last words, dripping with infinite malevolence.

"No one will treat you better than I did." His death was the everlasting gaze. "You will regret this."

Yet Mark Eillot Zuckerberg never regret it.