[TSN/EM] Paradise Lost

04

It's a pity that none of Mark's wishes came true in this story, but that's just how life works. Why should he? Eduardo was passionate, sensitive, gentlemanly, and kind, while Mark was merely an ambitious and pretentious self-proclaimed visionary. Mark took advantage of Eduardo's virtues but fell short of his own ambitions, and so he left Eduardo behind so nastily. Who was Eduardo to him? The whole issue is simply a simple, unspoken term in societal norms: Mark had already received enough love and attention from Eduardo, probably even more than he deserved. How could he dare ask for more? Eduardo was Mark's only friend; how could anyone hurt their only friend with an ill-intended breakup, let alone an ambush?

The climax of the story occurs during a group assignment. One of the Winklevoss twins, either of them, came to Mark in the hallway of Poilance. He has a mellow voice, much like Eduardo's, and he politely yet haughtily invites Mark to join their team for the project. They hold Mark there in Poilance or Phoenix, wherever it may be, like a hostage, simply trying to convince him to join: Mark could share their academic reputation and success and possibly get himself some additional benefits. The room was filled with the distant sound of the orchestra, drifting about like a subtle fragrance. Mark felt a strong urge to vomit, but he suppressed it, nodding in agreement with his typical expression before declining the Winklevosses' insistence. He knew what Winklevosses (which he now knows is Cameron) said wasn't meant to be sarcastic or perfunctory at all but a blessing, a blessing that Mark's dream would come true, as difficult as that would be to achieve. Mark rushed out of Poilance, running into the snow as he always does.

Mark made up his mind, he wants Eduardo back. In the middle of an AEPi party, he was spotted at the gate of the auditorium, wearing his old GAP hoodie. (It was a country house-themed party, and Eduardo, in a Hawaiian shirt underneath his North Face jacket, looked very handsome that night.) Almost instantly, Eduardo caught his eye, Mark made his way toward him. Together, they disappeared through the side door of the auditorium.

It was Eduardo's last public appearance. It was spring in Boston, but the temperature still often fell below zero. Despite the chill, Eduardo was well-dressed for the party, adding a rare spritz of floral perfume. The scent was very light, like the floral aromas of the Eastern tropics

In that confession letter a few months later, Mark recounts the prudent decision he braved as he was running back to Kirkland in that unusual biting cold. His love, sympathy, and pity were all barriers that Mark had to overcome to reach the freedom he sought. Violence was never his desired choice, he understood its impracticality. Yet, it was what it was.

On the day after receiving his offer from Harvard, Mark bought an Indiana hunting rifle in White Plains.