Senseless

Chapter Three

Chapter Three

I came to the realization that I had a crush on Everest Everly Evers after I left her house that afternoon. Major or minor or somewhere in the middle I had no idea. But I had feelings for her. 

I didn't want to go lying about things or putting off my emotions because that would only result in an extreme build up that could send me into a mental state where I would begin to deny anything and everything, and it would just suck. And, besides, life was bad enough already, so why would I keep myself from the things that made me happy? It's not like I was always cheerful and upbeat, it's quite obvious that wasn't the truth, but even I liked to have a little joy every once in a while. So I simply accepted the fact that I was attracted towards her, nodded to myself, and took a small walk around town. 

It was something I used to do every Sunday with my father. He made it a game to point out everything that was the same as the week before, and also the things that were different. Everything that was the same would get you five points and everything that was different would get you one. I was never any good at it due to my crappy sight, but I knew my dad didn't care. All he really wanted was for me to understand the game: Life had constants and life had variables. The number of variables far outnumbered the constants, but the constants mattered far more than the variables. One week, there was absolutely nothing that was the same. My father just smiled and said, "You're right. All of the things we thought were constants turned out to be variables. That's because, Icarus, variables are the only true constant." 

I didn't believe him until Then. 

My vision began to clear out a bit as I walked around; it must have been getting dark. The sunset was occurring, and I knew that all of the oranges and reds and pinks and purples and yellows were combining in the sky to cushion the sun as it made its descent. To me, though, it was just a blob of grey, but I watched it anyways. Even grey was beautiful. Most of the NPP dissed it for being dull or ordinary, but it wasn't. That was the worst thing about being unable to see colors. It wasn't considered 'right' for a colorblind person to say, "Wow, that's pretty," because, according to the NPP, we couldn't actually tell whether something looked pretty or not because it was just grey and blurry to us, and we were stupid and failed at life. I wasn't one to conform to their ridiculous opinions, so I leaned against a small building and smiled. I may have been houseless and senseless, but the world was still the same amazing world. 

It was too dangerous to attempt to walk all the way back to the park that evening. I didn't really mind. Sure, there would be more 1's here in the bustle of town, but it was better than getting hit by a car because I couldn't see the color of the traffic light. 

I ended up falling asleep next to this really nice lady named Alexa. We talked for a while before. She, as it turned out, had a kid of her own. Twenty years old. His name was Jarod. He'd gotten into college with a full-ride baseball scholarship. She said I reminded her of him. Then she told me everything else because houseless people like venting to other houseless people. They're the only ones who understand. 

Her incident happened, get this, twenty years ago. She'd had a good job with good pay, but an evil boss. Of course, she hadn't known her evil boss was evil until after one of those parties where everyone from a company gets together and has a nice dinner. Evil Boss Andrew had kept Alexa later to "talk about important business". That's obviously not what happened. After Evil Boss Andrew found out about Jarod, he'd fired Alexa. She'd tried to get a lawsuit, but Andrew was well-known, powerful, and had an amazing reputation, so that didn't happen. Those aspects didn't do much to help Alexa get another job, either. 

I felt it only fair to tell her my incident as well. I just left out all of the details. 

I told Alexa that I didn't have any senses. My mom walked out when I was two. My dad didn't have a job. He committed suicide when I was sixteen. I was currently eighteen.