stiles in new york

do I deserve it?

Stiles pov

(⚠️talks of sh⚠️)

I woke up again...

I didn't think I would.

I wasn't greeted by the four gray walls anymore, this time it they were white and they had less dents and marks upon them.

They were clean and flat. In the left corner by the ceiling was a camera, I think. Underneath it was a door.

It was made of strong looking metal with a window in it, it was small and dirty but you could see trough it. Everything was dark though.

You could see the more dirty looking walks on the outside of the window, this room was probably the cleanest in the building judging by the walls of what looked like a corridor.

Then I noticed that there wasn't a ticking noice anymore, it was dead silent. But what wasn't missing compared to earlier was the pain.

I still felt raging pain trough my whole body. I looked down at myself and noticed that I was wearing white joggings but noting else.

There were scars and wounds scattered across my chest and arms. But the ones that took my attention were the ones on my wrist.

They looked self inflicted, like I had cut myself. I don't remember dragging a blade across my skin but seeing the amount of scars was an indication that I did it a lot.

Some scars looked older and more faded while others looked like they weren't fully healed yet. Though they didn't seem recent at all, they were just taking longer to heal. Maybe it's because they were a lot deeper.

But If they really were self inflicted there is a reason to why I would chose to bring pain upon myself. Bringing pain upon myself doesn't sound to fun.

What could have caused me to make that bad of a decision, it's bad enough when they hurt me so why would I do it to myself.

Maybe it's because of what they did to me, maybe they made me hate myself so much that I brought that upon myself feeling like I deserved it.

Now that I think about it I do deserve it, I mean I failed a simple task that they had given me.

I still don't know who they are.

And why I'm with them, or how I'm with them.