stiles in new york

gone or lost?

Stiles' pov

I feel my body coming back to its senses, like I've been asleep for forever. I feel completely and utterly exhausted. My muscles ache and my head is spinning.

I want to move or open my eyes but I can't, not that it's that bad. I'm comfortable and I feel at peace, like actually at peace. Not just calm or relaxed, like I'm finally free.

But I'm not and I know it's not long until they torture me again or send me off to do their dirty work. I don't want this. I never wanted this.

I don't even know how long I've been doing it for them but I know long enough to make me find a loop hole. The note I found proved to me that they've been taking my thoughts, will and memories from me.

And I still don't have answers to all my questions. 'who am I?' is probably at number one on the list. Next to 'who are you?'.

I want to know my name, I want to know if I had a life, a job maybe or someone special in my life. I want to know everything.

But at the same time I don't. What if all of this, the stuff they do to me, I deserve. Maybe they are just punishing me and if that's the case i don't want them to ever stop.

Not until I am a cold corpse.

I don't know why I feel this way, like I am no good and deserve all the pain and guilt. But I know I need it, because without the wounds and screaming nothing fills this empty void inside my heart. The feeling of being a no one and never becoming a someone.

I hear footsteps entering the room in silence them move to the side of my bed and place a hand on my shoulder. I hear a beeping start to form close to the left side of my head. It becomes louder as the hand leaves my shoulder.

I hear the sound of metal clanking against each other. Until the sound stops again and the beeping too, the light I could sense before my eyes was gone aswell. Every feeling I had and everything else I noticed was gone again. Just the darkness and me. Alone and reunited.

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I've been alone with the darkness for a while now but time is hard to tell. The sounds have been coming and going though the sense of feeling hasn't returned yet. I've been hearing the beeping mainly and sometimes there where some soft sighs and footsteps never voices though. Until now.

"Hey"

I don't know to who the voice was speaking but it was rather familiar. A low and bass like voice. Very dark tinted and quite intimidating.

"Hey, how's he doing?"

Another voice was to be heard on the other side of the room.

"Very good actually, all his wounds have been stitched up but he needs more time to wake up. He was very malnourished when you got him here, he needs to gain way more weight."

I could hear a hum in response, I think they're talking about me but I'm not malnourished. The last time I saw my body I was physically in good shape. Even having a big amount of muscles. But when I was still in the white room going through my silent punishment I didn't get to eat so my muscles definitely toned down but malnourished? That's going a bit far I think.

"I have an idea for his memories though."

"I know what your about to say, no!"

"Oh com' on Bruce, Wanda could easily enter his mind!"

"Yeah but you don't know what kind of memories he has or what it wil do to her!"

"Fuck that, if it's too hard for her she can just leave but him! He'll always have those memories. I just need him to remember us!"

I hear this 'bruce' guy sigh in defeat. What are they even on about, what memories? It may be the ones that they were taking from me. The note I found told me they were taking them. But what if they are actually gone, not just deeply pushed down into my mind but really gone. Someting is eather lost or gone and the good thing is that if it's lost it can be found but if it's gone then there is no chance in getting it back.

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Okey I know this is short and I've been MIA for god knows how longe but just bear with me please. So next chapter (not making any promises) should be out soon and buckel your seats because it isn't a happy one.

All the love, max 💖