There will be blood. (Zustin )

9. Sin and Punishment

Zayn's POV

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"Hey, do you have pen?" Shawn asked from behind me.

"No. You ask me that every day and every day I say that same thing. Leave me alone." I snapped without turning around.

I refocused my thoughts back on the professor at the front of the cavernous, arena style classroom.

Another Monday was upon us and even though I had only spent a week in school, it felt much longer. I was in a bad mood. Not only was it "that time of the month" but I was more frustrated than ever because those damn shades of brown were still haunting my dreams. He was still haunting my dreams.

If I knew college was going to be this hard, I would have stayed in Forks. But the thing was, nothing was as hard as suppressing the attraction I was feeling for Justin.

I had met the man twice and he was controlling me. It was scary to the point of sleep deprivation. I didn't even want to close my eyes at night because he would be there, watching me, taunting me, loving me.

Oh yes, I went there.

The sex dreams were the worst because I couldn't do anything about them. Nothing short of stick my hand down my underwear provided me with any kind of release but even after I was done, my body was still wound tight like a coil because they were just fantasies, dreams, nightmares. Nothing was like the real physical touch of his hands and I was about to jump off a building from insanity.

I kept tabs of my sins in my head because I figured that I would have to recite them to St. Peter at the gates of heaven. I wasn't a religious person by any means but even I knew that the intense lustful thoughts I was having were enough to send me to hell if I didn't repent. The dangerous thing about it all was that I could have cared less.

I used to live my life with some sort of morality but in my head, all bets were off when it came to Justin. If he came to me tomorrow and said that he wanted me to strangle Gigi, I would have done it just to feel his lips on mine. He was controlling me like a puppeteer and I was slightly scared by that.

The only form of solace I got was that I never had to see Justin again. I wasn't planning on ever going back to Plasma and he was twenty-five so it wasn't like we ran in the same circles. Chicago was big enough that he could live on one side and I could live on the other. We wouldn't have to even cross paths and I was thanking every God in heaven for that.

To be honest, I didn't even have time to think about Justin unless I was sleeping because I was so busy otherwise. I quickly found out that the Northwestern curriculum was demanding for a reason. The university was trying to crank out the top lawyers, businessmen, engineers, and doctors in the whole country so a lot was required from us. I was keeping up but it took work.

I had adjusted pretty well, all thanks to Gigi and my life fell into an easy routine that I liked. I would wake up and basically spend all day in class, fall into trances about Justin during my downtime, go back to my dorm and study with Gigi, eat when I needed and then sleep, dreaming about Justin again.

He was riding to high on my priorities list for me and I was going to have to find a way to bring him down.

"Are you sure you don't have a pen?" I felt a tap on my shoulder again.

"You want a pen?" I quickly spun around and threw it at Shawn's head, "There. Stop bothering me."

Shawn Mendes had to be the most annoying boy I had ever met but no matter how hard I tried, he wouldn't leave me alone. He was cute, nothing as beautiful as Justin but was there any male specimen out there who could compare to my brown eyed man? No.